Whenever I do theaters, I don't like 'em. I don't think they're right for stand-up. — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
I never do impressions, but I probably should. People like that stuff. — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
I just like doing standup, that's all I'm interested in or good at. — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
I never had any interest in sitcoms or motion pictures or anything like that. — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
There are these showcase clubs where 14 guys will go on in a row and people are laughing at everything, and I'm… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
I like to do talk show appearances where I get to just be myself, and I do stand-up where I can completely… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
I miss seeing real comics, Shecky Greene and Buddy Hackett, those types. I like straight stand-up, talking about the Olympics and why… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
You're trying your best to make people laugh; then if you fail, they hate you. But your intent's the same. It's not… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
I like the order and simplicity of sports. They have an ending. You can argue with your friends about it, but in… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
In theatres, you're kind of disconnected. Also, it's way too big for the likes of me. Unless you're Robin Williams or someone… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
Generally I don't like traveling around saying the exact same thing. I don't think that's a very good thing to do with… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
I don't really like doing big stand-up. Whenever I do theaters, I don't like 'em. I don't think they're right for stand-up.… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
I don't like sports where it's like, you watch a guy on a motorcycle flip or something, then another guy does it,… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
When I was young, I'd watch guys on 'The Tonight Show', Buddy Hackett, guys like that, where all they'd be is funny.… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
With the computer and stuff, the difference between a rich guy and a poor guy, to me, is nothing. Because I don't… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
In estimating the adversities of life, we would seldom have much reason to complain of the evils we suffer, did we understand the dangers… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share
Chastity is oftener owing to diffidence and shame, than to fortitude of reason or virtue. — Norm MacDonald Copy Share
The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle. — Norm MacDonald Copy Share
I'd say Jon Stewart has remained funny the entire time. Jon always makes it funny first. And he's just, he's talking about serious things,… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share
In theatres, you're kind of disconnected. Also, it's way too big for the likes of me. Unless you're Robin Williams or someone that can… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share
After months of speculation, the sitcom star Ellen DeGeneres admitted that yes, she's gay. Inspired by her courage, today, diet-guru Richard Simmons admitted that… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share
So much in L.A. is waiting. It's so irritating. That's what's good about stand-up. You can go away, and you don't have to sit… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share
You ever hear guys with small cocks talk about sex? Can't talk about it enough. They even got poems. They'll say, 'It's not the… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share
My dad died, and my grandfather died, and my great-grandfather died. And the guy before him, I don't know. Probably died. — Norm MacDonald Copy Share
I don't have any ego about it, but I find there's not a great work ethic in show business. A lot of people are… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share
Many people are skeptical about marriage of Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Pressley. They say, Lisa Marie is more of a sit at home… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share
Back in the old days, a man could just get sick and die. Now they have to wage a battle. So my Uncle Bert… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share
