I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat. There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward. — John Mortimer Copy Share Image
“Take sex, for instance.' 'What do you want me to do with it?' 'Try to be serious for a moment. Take the sex life… — John Mortimer Copy Share
I knew nothing about farce until I read Puce a l'Oreille, and had no idea what a deadly serious business it is. — John Mortimer Copy Share
Do we want blanks, asterisks and exclamation marks which people can fill in with their own imaginations, or are we prepared and strong enough… — John Mortimer Copy Share
Voting Liberal is a non-thing. Historically, it might be a good idea to have a Conservative government, because change is a good thing. But… — John Mortimer Copy Share
Dying is a matter of slapstick and pratfalls. The ageing process is not gradual or gentle. It rushes up, pushes you over and runs… — John Mortimer Copy Share
No brilliance is required in law, just common sense and relatively clean fingernails. — John Mortimer Copy Share
The people look forbidding, solemn, marked by that impossible ideal, Communism, which, like Christianity, seemed to demand too much of humanity and, falling into… — John Mortimer Copy Share
I try and treat my children from the age of ten months as if they were totally grown up, which I think is the… — John Mortimer Copy Share
Check-ups are, in my experience, a grave mistake; all they do is allow the quack of your choice to tell you that you have… — John Mortimer Copy Share
I don't believe in children's books. I think after you've read Kidnapped, Treasure Island, and Huckleberry Finn, you're ready for anything. — John Mortimer Copy Share
“The main aim of education should be to send children out into the world with a reasonably sized anthology in their heads so that,… — John Mortimer Copy Share
On the three pigs he and his wife own: "We acquired the pigs last year. My wife was born on a pig farm and… — John Mortimer Copy Share
