My life is now a constant assessment of whether what's happening in real life is more entertaining than what's happening on my phone. — Damien Fahey Copy Share Image
Rappers shouldn't have to file taxes because they itemize everything they own in songs. — Damien Fahey Copy Share Image
Forget the Bible, the greatest argument against human evolution is a YouTube comment thread. — Damien Fahey Copy Share Image
Paul Ryan looks like the car rental salesman who bullies you into getting full coverage. — Damien Fahey Copy Share Image
Personally, I'm not into reality shows - I can't even name a reality show that I was a really big fan of, altogether as… — Damien Fahey Copy Share Image
Before taking the stage, Paul Ryan spent 6 hours staring into a mirror working on 'concerned eyebrow.' — Damien Fahey Copy Share Image
I'd love to interview Bill Clinton. I know that might be a little boring, but he's so interesting and such an amazing guy. All… — Damien Fahey Copy Share Image
My life is now a constant assessment of whether what's happening in real life is more entertaining than what's happening on my phone. — Damien Fahey Copy Share Image
