“If someone breaks your heart, just punch them in the face. Oh sure, it seems obvious now, but you’d be amazed at how many people don’t think of it when it’s relevant. Seriously, just punch them in the face and… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
The only people who think the Internet is a calamity are people whose lives have been hurt by it; the only people who insist… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share
“I suppose we'll never know what really happened in that room, though he did tell police, "I did it because I'm a dirty dog."… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share
Do you know people who insist they like 'all kinds of music'? That actually means they like no kinds of music. — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share
Let's say Twitter existed during the Civil War. We would have a better understanding of people in the Confederacy who were against slavery, people… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share
All my friends are rock critics, so we talk about rock criticism a lot. Because of that, in order to be part of the… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share
If rain is God crying, I think God is drunk and his girlfriend just slept with Zeus. — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share
But no matter how many times we re-rank the presidents, in another 200 years, the top presidents will still be Washington and Lincoln and… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share
Different critics go to different lengths to disagree with that sentiment, but ultimately, they're the person experiencing this art, and whatever judgment or taste… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share
First, you must love yourself. And if you do that convincingly enough, others will love you too much. — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share
Anyone who claims to be good at lying is obviously bad at lying. Thus - as a writer myself - I cannot comment on… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share
“I care about strangers when they're abstractions but feel almost nothing when they are literally in front of me. They seem like unnamed characters… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share
“Toby Keith writes songs like 1993's "Should've Been a Cowboy," and what's compelling is that you can't deconstruct its message. "Should've Been a Cowboy"… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share
Some say that time is like water that flows around us (like a stone in the river) and some say we flow with time… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share
[On political correctness:] Any intended message mattered less than the received message, and every received message could be interpreted in whatever way the receiver… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share
In baseball and sex, cliches are usually true: pitching beats hitting, and people always want to be loved by anyone who doesn't seem to… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share
