I made a killing in the stock market. My broker lost all my money, so I killed him. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
AN AMERICAN REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Robert Pattinson must be the only guy in the world who enjoys his girlfriend being on her period. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When we cant laugh again on the same joke, then why do we cry again and again for the one and the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side got cut off? He's all right now. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear math, grow up and solve your own stupid problems I'm sick and tired of doing it for you! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Condoms are like women...most of the time they're pretty annoying, but you need them to get laid. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Always laugh heartily at the jokes your boss tells, it maybe a loyalty test. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
World's shortest horror story consists of only two sentences. The last man on Earth sat alone in a room. There was a… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That moment when you say something and everyone laughs, so you just sit there like a boss. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Most men don't realize their wife's worth till a judge decides the alimony amount — Anonymous Copy Share Image
What's worse than a bull in a china shop? A hedgehog in a condom factory. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You make jokes because you're afraid to take anything seriously, because if you take things seriously, they matter. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
3 blonds were driving to Disney World: The sign said 'Disney World Left,' so they started crying, turned around and drove home. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
What is the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't like jokes in speeches. I do like wit and humor. A joke is to humor what pornography is to erotic… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If my jokes offend you: 1. Im sorry. 2. It wont happen again. 3. 1 & 2 are lies. and 4. get over it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Happy April 1st everyone! May your day be filled with obnoxious practical jokes. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I got expelled from school on pajama day…But its not my fault I sleep naked. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Just because you say Swag in every other sentence doesn't mean you have it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You've no idea how good an old joke sounds when you take it out again after a rest of five or six… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A woman never knows what she really wants until she finds out what her husband cannot afford. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
F is for friends who do stuff with out you, U is for ur alone, N is for never having any plans… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Ever you miss me, never you cry. For a drop of tear in your eyes, is a day less in my life. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The biggest risk for this generation is to have a haircut from a new salon..!! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
They played a Chris Brown marathon on the radio station today. It was hit after hit. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I love asking kids what they want to be when they grow up, because I am still looking for ideas. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I had the best day ever, I ran into my ex girlfriend and her new boyfriend…With my car. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, Please send me a sister. Santa Clause wrote him back, Ok, send me… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If God wanted us to be vegetarians, he would have made broccoli a lot more fun to hunt! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
We all hate it when we're joking around with our parents and then it turns into a life lesson. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you dont come home and immediately either take off your pants or change into pajamas then Im sorry but youre living… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Women are like fish... neither would get in trouble if they kept their mouths shut. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
An ex-girlfriend from my past told me to see things from a girls point of view, so I looked out the kitchen… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
While jokes are used in completing the code of conversation, the monsters shall not know so. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Teacher: 'Why didn't you do your homework?' Student; 'Sorry, but Kanye West didn't let me finish...' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Yo mama is so ugly, that's not the hair on her head, that's her beard running away from her face — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
