John Kerry said today he wants to debate President Bush once a month. Hey good luck, if Bush couldn't make it to… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
John Kerry has apologized for saying those who do not study hard and do their homework will get stuck in Iraq. Now,… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
A Newsweek poll said if the election were held today, John Kerry would beat Bush 49 percent to 46 percent. And today,… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The big winner last night in New Hampshire - Senator John Kerry. He won 39 percent of the vote, which is pretty… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
John Kerry met with Ralph Nader last week. Both sides of every issue were discussed. And then, Nader spoke. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
They say John Kerry is the first Democratic presidential candidate in history to raise $50 million in a three-month period. Actually, that's… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
John Kerry speaks French fluently. Democrats are saying he's one in a million. A war hero who speaks French, isn't it more… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
You see the pictures in the paper today of John Kerry windsurfing? He's at his home in Nantucket this week, doing his… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
John Kerry says that he wants to debate President Bush once a month until the election. This could be a risky move… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
John Kerry's victory over Howard Dean has completely changed the presidential race around. Now instead of the rich white guy from Yale… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
John Kerry's wife Teresa Heinz is on the cover of Newsweek magazine this week and they said that if he is elected… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
John Kerry keeping a low profile this week. He said he wanted to get away and go someplace where no one would… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Here's some exciting news - according to The New York Post, both Al Gore and John Kerry are thinking of running for… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
John Kerry reportedly flew in his private hairdresser before his "Meet the Press" interview for a total cost of $1,000. That's $1,000… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
With the presidential debates right around the corner, John Kerry is going to play Mitt Romney to help the President prepare for… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Boston Globe is reporting that Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry used to date actress Morgan Fairchild but it didn't work out.… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
In an interview with Rolling Stone, Senator John Kerry, who is running for president, said that when he voted for the war… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Bush listed his income as $822,000. You know what John Kerry calls someone who earns $822,000? Not even worth dating. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
John Kerry announced that he and his wife are leaving on a week-long vacation. He's going to take her back to the… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
According to a new study, Botox injections can help back pain. So you see, that's why John Kerry had all that Botox… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
John Kerry said today that he wants to get rid of tax cuts for the rich and his wife said, 'Hey, shut… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Senator John Kerry released his plan today to eliminate the deficit. He said all we have to do is find a really… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Courtney Love said she once escorted Kerry to a concert. John Kerry once went out with Courtney Love and he's questioning Bush's… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
One critic in the L.A. Times said John Kerry looks like he is thinking too much. Well this is one place President… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
In his speech last night, John Kerry said this was the beginning of the end of the Bush administration. I agree. Sure,… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
It really kind of looks like now that John Kerry is on his way to the presidential nomination. The only thing that… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Kerry is saying that Bush never showed up for his national guard duty ... and now Bush is on the attack. He's… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
John Kerry accused President Bush of catering to the rich. You know, as opposed to John Kerry who just marries them. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
John Kerry and Ralph Nader met face-to-face, it was a historic meeting. Astronomers said today their meeting actually created what is called… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
John Kerry went hunting today. He said he killed a goose. He didn't bring Teresa along because he was a little rusty… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The latest issue of GQ magazine, John Kerry talks about what a man should look for in a woman. GQ? If John… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Political experts are saying the reason John Kerry is doing so well is because he's 'electable.' Hey, so was Al Gore -… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Secret Service has announced it is doubling its protection for John Kerry. You can understand why - with two positions on… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
John Kerry described his Republican critics as 'the most crooked, lying group I've ever seen.' Now, that's saying something, because Kerry's both… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
There are now reports that President Obama will name Massachusetts Senator John Kerry to be the next secretary of defense. Apparently this… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
John Kerry fell off of his bicycle over the weekend. He went for a Sunday afternoon ride, fell off in front of… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Bush's campaign is now attacking John Kerry for throwing away some of his medals to protest the Vietnam War. Bush did… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
John Kerry is recovering nicely after having prostate surgery. But the doctors did tell him it would be several months before he… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
John Kerry has promised to take this country back from the wealthy. Who better than the guy worth $700 million to take… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry came down pretty hard on fellow candidate Howard Dean this weekend. After Dean misspoke several times, Kerry… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends… — Jay Leno Copy Share
There is a nationwide shortage of drugs for Attention Deficit Disorder. The FDA says they're not sure how it happened. I guess somebody wasn't… — Jay Leno Copy Share
“Leno said the rainy weather in California "couldn't have come at a worse possible time. Today was the day NBC was supposed to burn… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Donald Trump said he will not decide about a possible run for the presidency until after the current season of Celebrity Apprentice wraps up.… — Jay Leno Copy Share
American forces in Iraq found $650 million in American cash sealed in a hidden cottage. See, this is why President Bush wants to invade… — Jay Leno Copy Share
I wanted to have a career in sports when I was young, but I had to give up the idea. I'm only six feet… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Texas Gov. Rick Perry referred to the Mexican city of Juarez as the most dangerous city in America. In his defense, he probably just… — Jay Leno Copy Share
You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out. — Jay Leno Copy Share
The Mayans have predicted the world is supposed to end on December 21. If the world doesn't end on December 21, you can bet… — Jay Leno Copy Share
The Globe reports that North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il raises money by selling fake Viagra pills. What it is about this guy? None of… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Here is your government at work. A congressman from Colorado said he wants to draft a rule that would make it unethical to have… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Jack Abramoff is going to testify against some of the other weasels in Congress. A lobbyist testifying against congressmen? How many Bibles are going… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Tomorrow, America's most famous hockey mom, Sarah Palin, will drop the ceremonial first puck at the Philadelphia Flyers game. Right afterwards, she'll get out… — Jay Leno Copy Share
