“But in their day-to-day lives, they have hit upon a dynamic that keeps their negative thoughts and feelings about each other (which all couples have) from overwhelming their positive ones. They have what I call an emotionally intelligent marriage.” — John M. Gottman Copy Share Image
When a couple gets to the last stage, one or both partners may have an affair. But an affair is usually a symptom of… — John M. Gottman Copy Share
The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse predict an ailing marriage: Criticism, Defensiveness, Stonewalling and Contempt. The worst of these is contempt. — John M. Gottman Copy Share
I believe we're going to find that respect and affection are essential to all relationships working and contempt destroys them. — John M. Gottman Copy Share
“Carnegie was right when he wrote, “You can make more friends in two months by becoming genuinely interested in other people than you can… — John M. Gottman Copy Share
In order to get to a healthier and more productive place, we need to give up our fear of conflict, turmoil and resistance. — John M. Gottman Copy Share
“Like the Second Law of Thermodynamics, which says that in closed energy systems things tend to run down and get less orderly, the same… — John M. Gottman Copy Share
Gay and lesbian relationships operate on essentially the same principles as heterosexual relationships — John M. Gottman Copy Share
Marriages are much more likely to succeed when the couple experiences a 5 to 1 ratio of positive to negative interactions whereas when the… — John M. Gottman Copy Share
“But in their day-to-day lives, they have hit upon a dynamic that keeps their negative thoughts and feelings about each other (which all couples… — John M. Gottman Copy Share
“Some people leave a marriage literally, by divorcing. Others do so by leading parallel lives together.” — John M. Gottman Copy Share
In a good relationship, people get angry, but in a very different way. The Marriage Masters see a problem a bit like a soccer… — John M. Gottman Copy Share
“In the midst of a bitter dispute, the husband or wife picks up a ringing telephone and is suddenly all smiles: “Oh, hi. Yes,… — John M. Gottman Copy Share
I liken an affair to the shattering of a Waterford crystal vase. You can glue it back together, but it will never be the… — John M. Gottman Copy Share
