If you're patient and you wait long enough, something will usually happen and it'll usually be something you don't like. — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
If you elect me the first Jewish justice of the peace, I'll reduce the speed limits to 54.95! — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
If Raymond Chandler came from the South, his name would be Ace Atkins. — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
If Jesus Christ had run as an independent, Rick Perry would have beat him. — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
On the whole I prefer cats to women because cats seldom if ever use the word 'relationship'. — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
You have to work at it if you want to be a good smoker. Especially today with all the non-smoking world constantly… — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
I don't believe in carrying a weapon. If somebody wants to shoot me, he'll have to bring his own gun. — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
If you're paranoid long enough, sooner or later you're gonna be right. — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
That's the government. Having been a politician and a musician, I can tell you which one is a higher calling. If musicians… — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
I don't think where people come from is that important. It doesn't matter if you come from reality TV. The question is… — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
I've been in true love many times. I just try to avoid it as much as possible. For if there's one thing… — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
Wandering around back stage at a willie Nelson concert is a bit like being the parrot on the shoulder of the guy… — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
I believe that voices like Ross Perot, Pat Buchanan, Ralph Nader should be heard. They don't have to be president. Give 'em a chance. — Kinky Friedman Copy Share
I don't believe in carrying a weapon. If somebody wants to shoot me, he'll have to bring his own gun. — Kinky Friedman Copy Share
The system is not perfect. Until it's perfect, let's do away with the death penalty. — Kinky Friedman Copy Share
That's the government. Having been a politician and a musician, I can tell you which one is a higher calling. If musicians ran the… — Kinky Friedman Copy Share
I never apologize for the truth. And the truth here is that racists come in many different colors. — Kinky Friedman Copy Share
I suffer from the curse of being multi-talented. There's no doubt about it. Politics and literature have gotten in the way of songwriting. — Kinky Friedman Copy Share
On the whole I prefer cats to women because cats seldom if ever use the word 'relationship'. — Kinky Friedman Copy Share
My plan is to bring back like the Bracero Program from 1944 that ran for 20 years where the Mexican government vets these people.… — Kinky Friedman Copy Share
I don't think I have even achieved fame. Of course, Hemingway says that fame is death's little sister. — Kinky Friedman Copy Share
People may surprise you with unexpected kindness. Dogs have a depth of loyalty that often we seem unworthy of. But the love of a… — Kinky Friedman Copy Share
