My rule is if one person says it, a thousand people want to say it. That goes for compliments too. I try… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
Even if it's L.A. and it's warmer, we're not supposed to be revving up right now. I don't like everyone's energy around… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
I don't know if I don't believe in monogamy. I think I do believe in it depending on the person or situation… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
If I could make crazy money just doing stand-up, that's what I would do. — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
We've seen a kind of Donald Trump supporter on steroids, like the hate-crime people. Those people, I don't want to see, like… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
If, for some reason, everyone knew who I was without me having to have my own TV show, that's what I would… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
I just remember a creepy sex-ed teacher putting a banana on a condom and then saying, "It goes in the girl if… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
I want to re-visit everything. We're people and we're so different. I think it would just be nice if it wasn't just… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
I'll take anyone I can get that will pay money to see me. And if there's more of me in the world,… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
Whatever my life looks like, I want it to be real and big and full. I want when, if I get hit… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
The whole notion that I don't appeal to the demographic - all my fans are young men. Someone asked me the other… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
You never know anymore if you'll see something you don't want to see, if you're jealous of something, if you're going through… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
In terms of what happened to Amy [Schumer], if that happened to me I would be like, "Yes, please leave." But I… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
I had no idea that marriage was only supposed to be between two people who wanted to get between the sheets and… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
Let's say I was like, "I'm going to write a book this year," which I'm not. Let's just say that was it.… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
My brain does like the idea of hosting a late-night show. My brain does like the idea of maybe having a show… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
There have been many times in my life where I got opportunities that I never thought would be the things that I… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
I don't have any jokes about my divorce or my ex-husband, who is a lovely person. It really is about how I… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
I wonder if that's the difference between fathers and mothers. I'm friends with people who have kids that are like 5 and… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
The urge that most people feel to have kids is the exact same as the urge that I have to not have kids. I… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share
“remember asking my mom when I was little if I could go live at this place in Boston called “The Home for Little Wanderers.”… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share
Couples without kids have each other, their friends, families, and Siri to talk to. It's not like they're quarantining themselves in an underground bunker,… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share
I used to make albums because I wasn't touring, and so I thought, "This is the best way for people to find out about… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share
Eventually I'm going to be too old to be on camera, and I've been doing stand-up a long time. — Jen Kirkman Copy Share
I don't want to have kids and so I am not going to have kids. People who want kids are going to have kids.… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share
I have this idyllic love life, but my mind just won't accept that. I would like to bring a new guy home every night.… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share
Its almost Thanksgiving! A day when you get to hear your extended family use racial slurs for groups are not taking away their jobs. — Jen Kirkman Copy Share
Actually, my friendships are changing because my friends have kids, so that's a new aspect to the material. Not just that I don't want… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share
As a woman of a certain age - and really, ever since I hit puberty and my baby-making parts were suddenly subject to public… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share
I'm not like Woody Allen like, "Oh my god what's going to happen? Ooh Ooh Oohhh." I'm just high-strung. So I do need to… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share
“I do not like being called “young” by someone who is only a couple of years older than I am, because what that really… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share
I'm wildly different than Maria Bamford or Sarah Silverman, and might be more similar to some male comics. — Jen Kirkman Copy Share
![“Even if it's L.A. and it's warmer, we're not supposed to be revving up right now. I don't like everyone's energy around [winter] time of year.” quote by Jen Kirkman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/581/jen-kirkman-2547_energy_even-if-it-s-l-a-and-it-s-warmer-we-re-n_1797406.jpg)
![“You never know anymore if you'll see something you don't want to see, if you're jealous of something, if you're going through a breakup and you see something, so I just don't even look at those things any more [ in Instagram].” quote by Jen Kirkman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/924/jen-kirkman-2547_breakup_you-never-know-anymore-if-you-ll-see-som_1856311.jpg)
![“In terms of what happened to Amy [Schumer], if that happened to me I would be like, "Yes, please leave." But I toured a lot. I started as an opening feature act touring a lot during the [George W.] Bush years, like around 2007. I was touring during the [Barack] Obama election - the first one with…” quote by Jen Kirkman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/23e/jen-kirkman-2547_amy_in-terms-of-what-happened-to-amy-schumer_2661204.jpg)
