Sage advice? If you're drunk, stay away from the phone. You can't get the answering machine message back. — Janeane Garofalo Copy Share Image
I truly believe a woman's weight is a political issue, and if one young woman out there can see me and not… — Janeane Garofalo Copy Share Image
I got mugged. And they got my knapsack with my comedy notebook in it. So if anybody see two cholos bombing at… — Janeane Garofalo Copy Share Image
The inked fingers and the position of them, which is gonna be a 'Daily Show' photo already, of them signaling in this… — Janeane Garofalo Copy Share Image
I don't think that the administration is being particularly honest with the American people about what this is going to cost in… — Janeane Garofalo Copy Share Image
Pedestrian's rights - because we live in California, I've got to address this issue. I don't know where on the fence I… — Janeane Garofalo Copy Share Image
So, apparently, if you are a pre-sentient mass of cells, this country will protect you and your rights to the n-th degree.… — Janeane Garofalo Copy Share Image
I would say that, unfortunately, the word liberal has been redefined over the last 30 years as if it is a bad… — Janeane Garofalo Copy Share Image
I was just utterly oblivious to how difficult it was, and how difficult it was going to be, and then also in… — Janeane Garofalo Copy Share Image
There is no blacklist. In the first place, in the entertainment business, money talks, bullshit walks. So Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins… — Janeane Garofalo Copy Share Image
Listening to your tape, I was reminded of this poem. It has the central question: Is it harder to count on someone… — Janeane Garofalo Copy Share Image
If you don't do any self-examinations or see a doctor ever, you'll live forever. That's how you do it. The diagnosis is… — Janeane Garofalo Copy Share Image
Listen, young people, I understand narcissism - clearly. But at least I have the decency to hate myself. And that's what's missing from the… — Janeane Garofalo Copy Share
I was a 36C or D, and at 5' 1'', I knew that being a small person with big boobs standing in front of… — Janeane Garofalo Copy Share
Pedestrian's rights - because we live in California, I've got to address this issue. I don't know where on the fence I am about… — Janeane Garofalo Copy Share
To combat social awkwardness, I would just act like I couldn't be bothered - that kind of aloof persona or aloof demeanor. It's so… — Janeane Garofalo Copy Share
A war is going to destroy our economy even further. It's going to be a threefold humanitarian disaster. — Janeane Garofalo Copy Share
There's a fake Facebook me. There's a fake me Twittering. Sometimes, when it was at the height of right-wing nonsense picking on me, there… — Janeane Garofalo Copy Share
Here's what the right-wing has in, there's no shortage of the natural resources of ignorance, apathy, hate, fear. As long as those things are… — Janeane Garofalo Copy Share
I think people are very cynical with actors trying to tell them what to believe in, or lobbying for any kind of changing of… — Janeane Garofalo Copy Share
Not that I was ever an asshole but I used to be much more of a bulldozer. — Janeane Garofalo Copy Share
The world would be better off with multiple superpowers. When Communist USSR was a superpower, the world was better off. — Janeane Garofalo Copy Share
Evil is in the face of every frat guy that ever raised a beer cup and went "whoooooo!" — Janeane Garofalo Copy Share
![“The inked fingers and the position of them, which is gonna be a 'Daily Show' photo already, of them signaling in this [Nazi salute] manner, as if they have solidarity with the Iraqis who braved physical threats against their lives to vote as if somehow these inked-fingered Republicans have…” quote by Janeane Garofalo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/504/janeane-garofalo-1940_daily-show_the-inked-fingers-and-the-position-of-th_3068023.png)
