People who are wary of what they might find in a book if they opened one are right to be. — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
Two radical ideas have been introduced into human thought. One of them is that energy and matter are pretty much the same… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
I would have been dead if it weren't for that great gift to civilization from the Chemistry Department of Harvard, which was… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
I paraphrase Aristotle: If you want to be comical, write about people to whom the audience can feel superior; if you want… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
I was once asked if I had any ideas for a really scary reality TV show. I have one reality show that… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
This world is not a vale of sorrows if you will recognize discriminatingly what is truly excellent in it; and if you… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
I don't think there would be many jokes, if there weren't constant frustration and fear and so forth. It's a response to… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
A first grader should understand that her or his culture isn't a rational invention; that there are thousands of other cultures and… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
I can see where influential people would like Maharishi better than Jesus. My God, if the Beatles and Mia Farrow went to… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
If facts weren't funny, or scary, or couldn't make you rich, the heck with them. — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
The paintings by dead men who were poor most of their lives are the most valuable pieces in my collection. And if… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
During the Vietnam War, Abbie Hoffman announced that the new high was banana peels taken rectally. So then FBI scientists stuffed banana… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
If it weren't for the message of mercy and pity in Jesus' Sermon on the Mount, I wouldn't want to be a… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
If people insist on living as if there's no tomorrow, there really won't be one. — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
It often is a terrible insult to some families if one of the kids turns out to be an artist and that's… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
If Jesus was alive today, we would kill him with lethal injection. I call that progress. We would have to kill him… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
One thing I found out was that we need extended families. We need gangs. And, of course, if they're tribes and clans… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
You can only be funny if you have matters of great importance on your mind. — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
We are about to be attacked by Al Qaeda. Wave flags if you have them. That always seems to scare them away.… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
What geography can give all Middle Westerners, along with the fresh water and topsoil, if they let it, is awe for an… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
One thing in the Middlewest: If you're in my business you're aware of the low opinion both coasts have of the midlands.… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but the living room in your fortified compound. — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
“You must bloom as a writer and I must bloom as a painter. Everything else about us is uninteresting.” — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
“Have a good nap, did you?” said the porter. “Yes,” said Billy. “Man,” said the porter, “you sure had a hard-on.” — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
“I told him that if we doubted that we are demons in Hell, he should read The Mysterious Stranger, which Mark Twain wrote in… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
“Thomas Jefferson High School [..] His high school was named after a slave owner who was also one of the world’s greatest theoreticians on… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
“I had a certain amount of skill as a dramatist, and Dr. Goebbels wanted me to use it” — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
I was some of the mud that got to sit up and look around. Lucky me, lucky mud. — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
“The town was Newport, Rhode Island, U.S.A., Earth, Solar System, Milky Way.” — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
“Her face was one of a kind, a surprising variation that made observers think, Yes--that would be another very nice way for people to… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
“You finally fell in love, I see,” said Salo. “Only an Earthling year ago,” said Constant. “It took us that long to realize that… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
“Like all Earthlings at the point of death, Mary Young sent faint reminders of herself to those who had known her. She released a… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
“And contrast Mary Kathleen, if you will, with my wife Ruth, the Ophelia of the death camps, who believed that even the most intelligent… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
