I tried to log on to the Obamacare website today. I don't think I'm doing it right. I lost 300 bucks playing… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The worst thing about losing this job: I’m no longer covered by NBC. I have to sign up for ObamaCare. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
According to a new report, more than 700 fake Obamacare websites have been created. Security experts say it's simple to identify the… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Nineteen percent of doctors say that they'd be able to give their patients a lethal injection. But they also went on to… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Last night, John McCain said that under the Democratic health care plan, a bureaucrat would stand between you and your doctor, as… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average. Which means you've met your… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Bush announced tonight that he believes in democracy and that democracy can exist in Iraq. They can have a strong economy,… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
In a landmark decision, the Supreme Court ruled President Obama's healthcare mandate is constitutional. This is a major victory for President Obama,… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Saddam Hussein has raised the amount going to suicide bombers from $10 thousand dollars to $25 thousand. What's next, a health care plan? — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The healthcare reform bill now includes a tanning booth tax of 10 percent. You know what this means? This whole thing could… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
For years President Obama has been saying that no one would lose their healthcare plan. Now the White House has admitted that… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Obama administration has admitted that under Obamacare, you might not be able to keep your doctor. At first the president guaranteed… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Before they went on vacation, Congress voted to exempt themselves from Obamacare. They gave themselves a special exemption because they thought it… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The White House approved an exemption in Obamacare coverage for Congress and members of their staff. Members complained that the Affordable Care… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Con artists are using Obamacare confusion to sign people up for fake health insurance. The scammers lure victims with false promises like,… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
In an unlikely pairing, Hillary Clinton made an appearance this week with Newt Gingrich to push a health care plan. The press… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The IRS says it's been getting death threats since the health care bill passed because the IRS is going to be the… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Do you know who will be in charge of health care? The IRS. You thought getting audited was bad? Wait until your… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
We've got the government shutdown, but the beginning of Obamacare. You know what that means? You can now complain to your doctor… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The CEO of The Cheesecake Factory is now warning that Obamacare will be very costly. Hey, The Cheesecake Factory is one of… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends… — Jay Leno Copy Share
There is a nationwide shortage of drugs for Attention Deficit Disorder. The FDA says they're not sure how it happened. I guess somebody wasn't… — Jay Leno Copy Share
“Leno said the rainy weather in California "couldn't have come at a worse possible time. Today was the day NBC was supposed to burn… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Donald Trump said he will not decide about a possible run for the presidency until after the current season of Celebrity Apprentice wraps up.… — Jay Leno Copy Share
American forces in Iraq found $650 million in American cash sealed in a hidden cottage. See, this is why President Bush wants to invade… — Jay Leno Copy Share
I wanted to have a career in sports when I was young, but I had to give up the idea. I'm only six feet… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Texas Gov. Rick Perry referred to the Mexican city of Juarez as the most dangerous city in America. In his defense, he probably just… — Jay Leno Copy Share
You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out. — Jay Leno Copy Share
The Mayans have predicted the world is supposed to end on December 21. If the world doesn't end on December 21, you can bet… — Jay Leno Copy Share
The Globe reports that North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il raises money by selling fake Viagra pills. What it is about this guy? None of… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Here is your government at work. A congressman from Colorado said he wants to draft a rule that would make it unethical to have… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Jack Abramoff is going to testify against some of the other weasels in Congress. A lobbyist testifying against congressmen? How many Bibles are going… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Tomorrow, America's most famous hockey mom, Sarah Palin, will drop the ceremonial first puck at the Philadelphia Flyers game. Right afterwards, she'll get out… — Jay Leno Copy Share
