Bill Gates is just a monocle and a Persian Cat away from being one of the bad guys in a James Bond… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
The Nazi signs have got to stop. If you're in a peace march and the guy next to you has a sign… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Women don't like guys who are dangerous. Women just want us to think that because women are trying to kill us. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
When I went to college, I lived on campus, and the guys I hung out with made the characters in Revenge of… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
I'm left on a lot of things. If two gay guys want to get married, I could care less. If a nut… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
When the hell is Warren Moon going to retire? I mean, this guy is older than the cuneiform in Nebuchadnezzar's tomb. — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
The soldiers kill suicide bombers. Think about that. When a guys whole thing in life is to kill himself and you get… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Of *course* he needs to renegotiate his salary - the guy buys more snow than Seward did when he bought Alaska from… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
The good thing about Pittsburgh, it's a good place to be raised... it doesn't tolerate assholes. You're either a good guy or… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
It's a cocktail-party circuit in D.C., That guy who couldn't master the guitar and get in a band and get laid, he… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
I come from that earlier time in America when palm pilot was a nickname you recieved upon entering puberty! I was more… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
I'm sorry, those pictures from the Abu Ghraib. At first, they, like infuriated me, I was sad. Then like, a couple days… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Look, we're Americans: optimistic, addicted to the quick fix, constantly on the hunt for the new and exotic. It's much easier for… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
A third myth is that men think that women like guys who are dangerous. As a result, guys will often smoke cigarettes,… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Forbes magazine has named Mel Gibson this year's most powerful celebrity. ... Forbes' least powerful celebrity? [Miller displayed the widely circulated image… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
The second type you have at these parades seems to be the people who want to mislabel Hitler. Everybody in the world… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
My fear of flying starts as soon as I buckle myself in and then the guy up front mumbles a few unintelligible… — Dennis Miller Copy Share Image
Laughter is one of the great beacons in life because we don't refract it by gunning it through our intellectual prism. What makes us… — Dennis Miller Copy Share
It takes zero politically correct people to screw in a lightbulb because they are perpetually in the dark. — Dennis Miller Copy Share
Drop the veneer periodically and be like "OK, I'm an imperfect human. Let's try to get through this." — Dennis Miller Copy Share
I'm left on a lot of things. If two gay guys want to get married, I could care less. If a nut case from… — Dennis Miller Copy Share
American's could be any more self absorbed if they were made of equal parts water and paper towel. — Dennis Miller Copy Share
Nowadays, with history not being taught anymore in American public schools, self-esteem is taking its place. — Dennis Miller Copy Share
I think abortion's wrong, but it's none of my business to tell somebody what's wrong, he said. So I'm pro-choice. I want to keep… — Dennis Miller Copy Share
Americans stick their nose where it doesn't belong more than Cyrano de Bergerac giving head. — Dennis Miller Copy Share
We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head. — Dennis Miller Copy Share
Dennis Kucinich's politics are more scrambled than Rod Steiger's dream journal. — Dennis Miller Copy Share
Somebody call Janet Reno - I think I just saw Donato dragging Doug Flutie into a locker room closet! — Dennis Miller Copy Share
I have sympathy for any human being that's driven by their limbic part of their brain. We all know that exists in a person. — Dennis Miller Copy Share
I haven't seen someone so overmatched since Mike Tyson tried to recite the alphabet. — Dennis Miller Copy Share
There's a lot of differing data [about global warming], but as far as I can gather, over the last hundred years the temperature on… — Dennis Miller Copy Share
The good thing about Pittsburgh, it's a good place to be raised... it doesn't tolerate assholes. You're either a good guy or you're a… — Dennis Miller Copy Share
![“It's a cocktail-party circuit in D.C., That guy who couldn't master the guitar and get in a band and get laid, he ends up there. Gary Condit make sense to me. He's away from his family, he's in D.C. - if he was a car dealer in the [San Fernando] Valley somewhere out there, he'd be the guy who was…” quote by Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/058/dennis-miller-1315_band_it-s-a-cocktail-party-circuit-in-d-c-tha_2538646.jpg)
![“Forbes magazine has named Mel Gibson this year's most powerful celebrity. ... Forbes' least powerful celebrity? [Miller displayed the widely circulated image from the Lynndie England photographs of a hooded Iraqi prisoner with wires attached to his outstretched arms] You're looking at him. Screw…” quote by Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5f7/dennis-miller-1315_arms_forbes-magazine-has-named-mel-gibson-thi_1793773.png)
