Sometimes girls act all TNT Network because they know drama. That's when guys get all TBS around you because we think it's… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
Any guy that refers to dating women as the hunt or being on the prowl should be evaluated for a number of… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
There will be a guy in a yellow poncho, his name is Hank, he will take you to the whopper lair. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
Text a guy you like right now, "I'm thinking about you." If he says, "mmm are you in bed?" Never speak to… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
I think that people who do enjoy my stand-up comedy and the people who get it and the people who are taken… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
When a guy says "I have no idea what you're talking about" it means "I'm thinking of exactly what you're saying I… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
Vince Vaughn is a genuine person, awesome guy. He'll come to a lot of my shows. It's not that often that you… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
When you're on a movie set and you are hopefully making a comedy, everyone's stifling their laughter. You're looking at the crew… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
I was told by a girl once that I should teach a course on how to kiss properly. I thought that was… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
Some people give you that motivation to work harder simply to get the hell away from wherever they are. — Dane Cook Copy Share
Every great thing starts with an idea, followed by a doubt and finally a resolve to abandon or pursue. Victory is a treacherous journey. — Dane Cook Copy Share
My real first job was delivering newspapers with I was 15. I would ride my bike around and chuck papers at people's houses. The… — Dane Cook Copy Share
I do think I am funny, or I wouldn't be where I am today. I do think there is always room for improvement and… — Dane Cook Copy Share
If you think your demeanor is mellow or not particularly charismatic, the material can life you higher. So write everyday, and get onstage or… — Dane Cook Copy Share
If you lie to a person at least tell someone else you've lied to the truth. It balances out your karma. — Dane Cook Copy Share
Trolls look for reasons to hate but really what they are mad at is the fact they are not included in anything ever. — Dane Cook Copy Share
In school I was pretty quiet. Kinda shy until my junior year. But at home I was a freak. — Dane Cook Copy Share
Strip clubs are great places to meet interesting people you only wanna know for about 40 minutes. — Dane Cook Copy Share
I can't relate to the idea of suicide. I guess I'm just one of those people that is always optimistic and upbeat. But one… — Dane Cook Copy Share
Someone needs to make a zombie movie where when you get bit it turns you into a singing and dancing extraordinaire. — Dane Cook Copy Share
