[Nazi] copied stuff from us for their "final solution" but we get to walk around like we're the good guys. — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
Some guy workin' at Home Depot, he wants to f-k just as many women as a celebrity. But he can't do it,… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I love my dog. I hate bankers. I have issues with women. In my head, I’m a great guy. — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
My parents have a ridiculous work ethic; my dad just works, works, works, works, works. I think it would be hard to… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I'm one of those guys like whatever the situation is, as long as people are cool and everybody is trying to be… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
Ric Flair is the greatest guy ever. He just wants to hang out, have a beer, and tell stories. He's the coolest.… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I'm one of those guys where you know, I'm 23 years into this and I love the road more than ever and… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
There's no "brothers" when it comes to white people. We are just complete individuals. We don't care about each other. He's not… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
You know, it wasn't even that I'm a funny guy, I just loved stand-up comedy and I wanted to do it. It… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
The first guy who got Aids was a French flight attendant. How you like that Frenchie! You know when I come back… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I wasn't the good looking guy, I wasn't the hot chick, I wasn't the fat guy, I didn't have a catchphrase, I… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I was a feature one time and they gave me host money. When I called to complain the guy goes "no you… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
People make a big deal about podcasts but it's basically an online radio show with the sound effects and sidekicks, but because… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
Like I said, you guys in the media will treat the dumbest jack**s in the entire f***ng world like they won a… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
Before I even knew what stand up was, I tried to make people laugh at school because that was how I made… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
It was right after 9/11 and I decided to walk around the grounds of the Pentagon, because I had never been there.… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
There are no winners in this election [2016]. I paid attention to it for about two months and then it just started… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I'm an idiot, basically. I don't think that I'm a dumb guy, but I also realise that I have access to about… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I couldn't trash [Adolf] Hitler enough. Poor bastards, they make all these contributions to the automotive industry, aeronautics, space - but you… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
They say you don't want to meet your heroes, but those two guys, you do want to meet them, because they do… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I love making movies, and being in any that I can be in. I'd like to be in those giant movies, as the fifth… — Bill Burr Copy Share
I'm always looking at new ways to tell a joke so that it doesn't get stale while working on new jokes every night or… — Bill Burr Copy Share
I love doing radio, and I love doing stand-up, obviously. I'm good flying up to four hours, but anything past that, I want to… — Bill Burr Copy Share
It was right after 9/11 and I decided to walk around the grounds of the Pentagon, because I had never been there. Out of… — Bill Burr Copy Share
Business runs hot and cold so the more you're in charge of your own destiny, the better off you are. — Bill Burr Copy Share
You know, it wasn't even that I'm a funny guy, I just loved stand-up comedy and I wanted to do it. It was one… — Bill Burr Copy Share
I am so pro-swine flu...I want it. We need a plague. It's got to happen; don't be afraid. It's only going to kill the… — Bill Burr Copy Share
I wish they would teach it in schools: Give people the belief that they are going to do well. A lot of people are… — Bill Burr Copy Share
Look how long it took to build the Freedom Tower, and we wanted that. It took 15 years. — Bill Burr Copy Share
For aspiring comedians? Don't listen to me. Just go on stage and do what you think is funny. — Bill Burr Copy Share
It's a great time to be a comedian because you've got so much more control. You can say what you want to. I think… — Bill Burr Copy Share
People make a big deal about podcasts but it's basically an online radio show with the sound effects and sidekicks, but because you can… — Bill Burr Copy Share
You wanna know how you know you're informed as a protestor? They don't show your interview on TV. — Bill Burr Copy Share
![“[Nazi] copied stuff from us for their "final solution" but we get to walk around like we're the good guys.” quote by Bill Burr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5e6/bill-burr-1900_copied_nazi-copied-stuff-from-us-for-their-fina_713233.png)
![“There are no winners in this election [2016]. I paid attention to it for about two months and then it just started to depress me. At least Hillary's [Clinton] a politician, but the fact that you've got a guy from a reality TV show! I have to say, out of everything I've ever watched in sports - the…” quote by Bill Burr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/789/bill-burr-1900_attention_there-are-no-winners-in-this-election-20_726616.png)
![“I couldn't trash [Adolf] Hitler enough. Poor bastards, they make all these contributions to the automotive industry, aeronautics, space - but you pick one wrong guy and it's all out the window. They're never gonna live that one down.” quote by Bill Burr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/df6/bill-burr-1900_contribution_i-couldn-t-trash-adolf-hitler-enough-poo_2247788.png)
