Ok... so who wants to hear about my STD from the silent film era? Yeah, put your hands up for that one. This chick's pussy smelled like the Great Depression. — Nick Swardson Copy Share Image
For me, honestly, one of the first movies I did I was always pounding coffee, and I crashed so horribly. So I've kind of… — Nick Swardson Copy Share Image
That's great Bobby, but we don't have Dance Dance Revolution, so - you're dumb. — Nick Swardson Copy Share Image
Uh-oh? What does that mean? High score? Is that bad? Did I break it? — Nick Swardson Copy Share Image
Ok... so who wants to hear about my STD from the silent film era? Yeah, put your hands up for that one. This chick's… — Nick Swardson Copy Share Image
If you want to be a comedian, go out. Do a week in Des Moines, Iowa. Try to make those people laugh. — Nick Swardson Copy Share Image
I always write and create. I'm never not creating. I'm always creating a show, every year, whether it gets picked up or not. I… — Nick Swardson Copy Share Image
Most sketch aficionados have an enormous amount of respect for 'Mr. Show.' I didn't have HBO back then, so I was always trying to… — Nick Swardson Copy Share Image
I would eventually like to write and star in my own stuff. I think I have a good comedic sense, so I'd like to… — Nick Swardson Copy Share Image
I'm developing more stuff in my voice, more Nick Swardson. It's me as myself in a sense and kind of in my voice, no… — Nick Swardson Copy Share Image
