Maybe it was me," Grandma said."Sometimes they sneak out.Did I fart? — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
“I heard about them Rangers on TV,” Grandma said. “I heard they get dogs pregnant.” -Grandma Mazur” — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
“It's a penis,' Grandma said. 'Stephanie got it in the mail. It's a pretty good one too.” — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
You need teeth like mine!" Grandma said. "You can just mail 'em to the dentist! — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
[Stephanie Plum]Jeez. No True Love" [Grandma Mazur] There's always been true love, but in my day, you either talked yourself into thinking… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
At the other end of the room, Grandma had the lid up on Larry Lipinski. She was standing one foot on a… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
Aren't you something," Grandma said. "I never saw a midget up close." "Little person," Briggs said. "And I never saw anyone as… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
“Grandma was wearing a blond Marilyn Monroe wig, a hot pink tank top, black Pilates pants, and black kitten heels. She looked… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
I always wanted to eat with a Negro,” Grandma said. Yeah, well I always wanted to eat with a boney- assed old… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
The dog ran into the kitchen, stuck his nose in Grandma's crotch, and snuffled. Dang," Grandma said. "Guess my new perfume really… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
“It was mesmerizing,” Grandma said. “It was like staring into the eye of a cobra. I don’t care if I do anything… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
“Lula leaned forward so she could whisper. “You talking about size? Was your man’s part that big?” “Heck no,” Grandma said. “His… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
My father hired you to protect me," Ahmed said, "not to go off chasing men." Grandma leaned forward, keeping her eye on… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
“Sally put his gun back in his pants. "Guess I flunked the estrogen test." We all stared at his crotch, and Grandma… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
Grandma Mazur stood two feet back from my mother. "I gotta get me a pair if those," she said, eyeballing my shorts.… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
“Of course it's your fault," Grandma said. "You must be doing something wrong, if you know what I mean. Maybe you need… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
I’m going back to bed,” Grandma said when Mooner and Dougie left. “This doesn’t look too interesting. I liked it better the… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
“The kid pulled a Buck knife out of his pants pocket. "How about giving me your purse, bitch?" Sally hiked up his… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
Ranger is an unusual name," she managed. "Is it a nickname?" It's a street name," Ranger said. "I was a Ranger in… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
[Stephanie] 'You see, Mrs. Mayer was going on about George's lodge, and how he wanted to be buried with his ring, and… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
He [Ranger] stopped in front of my parents' house, and we both looked to the door. My mother and my grandmother were… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
I know what you're thinking," Grandma said into the silence. "Do I have anymore bullets in this here gun? Well, with all… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
I was watching television and I saw how you stick your fingers in a person's eyes to slow them down." Grandma Mazur — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
When Grandma Mazur is talking about the reason for the improved play of her 91-year-old bowling teammate, she said: "She's doing better… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
You gonna take the case?" It's not a case. It's a missing person. Sort of." You're gonna have a devil of a… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
I met a real looker. He picked me up at the two dollar slot machines, so you know he's no cheapskate." Grandma… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
“His pager beeped, and he looked at the readout. “I have to get back to Deal. Do you have any secret weapons in your… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share
You gonna take the case?" It's not a case. It's a missing person. Sort of." You're gonna have a devil of a time finding… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share
Are we fighting?" I asked Morelli. "No. Were discussing." "Are you sure?" "Am I yelling?" Morelli asked. "Is my face purple? Are the cords… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share
“changed expression. Wariness, maybe. I felt a body move so close it was skimming my own, and a warm hand protectively settled at the… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share
I need to look like an idiot at least twice a day to keep myself humble. — Janet Evanovich Copy Share
Mooner was walking around laying his hands on the cars, divining karma. "this is it", he said, standing by a small khaki-colored jeep."this car… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share
“Ranger was waiting. He was dressed in black slacks, a form-fitting black T-shirt, and a black blazer.” — Janet Evanovich Copy Share
I guessed my mother figured if my father got right down to the task of eating he wouldn’t be so inclined to jump up… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share
You can get through very serious and sometimes horrible and sometimes embarrassing and very awkward situations with humor. It gives us a way out. — Janet Evanovich Copy Share
Way back before the 'Alex Barnaby' series was first published, we were talking with Dark Horse then about making it into a graphic novel… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share
“He wears jeans, untucked shirts, and a Glock 19, and he has a big shaggy dog named Bob.” — Janet Evanovich Copy Share
I write to entertain. When people read one of my books I want them to finish with a smile on their faces, feeling a… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share
“I hate shopping for clothes," Kate said. "I liked when I was in the military and all I needed was camouflage gear." "Shopping can… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share
“I’m told there’s a paint specialist in Denver who does wonderful work,” Judy said. “I’ve started a GoFundMe page for Mr. Murphy.” “That’s a… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share
![“[Stephanie Plum]Jeez. No True Love" [Grandma Mazur] There's always been true love, but in my day, you either talked yourself into thinking you had it, or you talked yourself into thinking you didn't need it.” quote by Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/abe/janet-evanovich-291_grandma_stephanie-plum-jeez-no-true-love-grandma_1385041.png)
![“[Stephanie] 'You see, Mrs. Mayer was going on about George's lodge, and how he wanted to be buried with his ring, and so Grandma had to check the ring out, and in the process broke off one of George's fingers. Turns out the finger was wax. Somehow Kenny got into the mortuary this morning, left…” quote by Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f29/janet-evanovich-291_broke_stephanie-you-see-mrs-mayer-was-going-on_347379.jpg)
![“He [Ranger] stopped in front of my parents' house, and we both looked to the door. My mother and my grandmother were standing there, watching us. "I'm not sure I feel comfortable about the way your grandma looks at me," Ranger said. [Stephanie] "She wants to see you naked." "I wish you hadn't told…” quote by Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/248/janet-evanovich-291_babe_he-ranger-stopped-in-front-of-my-parents_2142810.png)
