I'm not the greatest husband - I've got a girlfriend. It doesn't really please my wife, but then if I was looking to please her I wouldn't have a girlfriend. I mean she knows about it, and I guess she's… — Andrew Dice Clay Copy Share Image
I think that a lot of men, especially once they're married, feel like their girl is just who she is, so don't treat her… — Andrew Dice Clay Copy Share
You gotta be happy when you wake up in the morning and look at what's next to ya. You wanna just hop on it… — Andrew Dice Clay Copy Share
My mother was the one who totally got behind me as far as, do things and ask questions later. My father would say, "I… — Andrew Dice Clay Copy Share
Comics, a lot of them, are really depressed people, and I happen to be somebody that does have a lot of confidence. That's the… — Andrew Dice Clay Copy Share
Even as a stage performer, I have my garb which is leather jackets and black jeans to make me feel a certain way. The… — Andrew Dice Clay Copy Share
I like real girls. When they're in bed with you, it's not a show. They just want to do that. — Andrew Dice Clay Copy Share
I do whatever I do. I go to the club. I work on material. While other people are sleeping, I'm awake. I always liked… — Andrew Dice Clay Copy Share
Women today leave the house in animal prints and six inch stilettos, what does that say? I'm going to church? They're saying I want… — Andrew Dice Clay Copy Share
I think the best part of being gay is when you're done [with sex], you could turn over and talk about football. — Andrew Dice Clay Copy Share
There are very few comics that understand about exciting the crowd, and that's what I always prided myself on: giving a more confident macho… — Andrew Dice Clay Copy Share
If you hide what you really are, then there's going to be problems in marriage down the road. I don't mind if a girl… — Andrew Dice Clay Copy Share
When you're at your own parents' funeral, when you're at somebody that you love's funeral, you realize how precious life is. And you say,… — Andrew Dice Clay Copy Share
I might do cartoonish sexual jokes, but it's my way of saying what's going on in the world. How people are animals, really. — Andrew Dice Clay Copy Share
