I'm not on this earth to be a goalie. I'm not here to stop somebody from accomplishing their goals. If you're not hurting anybody, I'm here to either assist or get out of the way — Kyle Kinane Copy Share Image
I try to stay away from calling people nerds or whatever, because I've got my own fetishes and interests. — Kyle Kinane Copy Share
It's a Vietnamese soup that answers the question, 'What happens when a former child soldier pours hot rain water over fish nightmares.' It's delicious… — Kyle Kinane Copy Share
Sometimes I realize halfway through a story, I'm like, 'Why would anyone care about this? It's uninteresting.' — Kyle Kinane Copy Share
In 2007, I had on-paper success. I got to go to that Aspen comedy festival, which was pretty exclusive, I guess. Then I did… — Kyle Kinane Copy Share
What a great unifier getting scared is. Not in an actual threatening, real-world way, but getting scared from horror movies or haunted houses or… — Kyle Kinane Copy Share
I now get to have the life I wanted when I was 18 years old. Now, I'm like, 'I can buy any skateboard I… — Kyle Kinane Copy Share
I'm glad I'm a comedian. Otherwise, my life would just be a series of undocumented low points. — Kyle Kinane Copy Share
I eat the same way Doc Brown fuels the DeLorean at the end of Back to the Future. — Kyle Kinane Copy Share
I think I told my parents I wanted to be a writer, just so they'd kind of think I had some direction in life.… — Kyle Kinane Copy Share
