Funny twitter bios Quotes

99% of the time my brain is thinking blah, meh, why, huh, WTF, food and computers. The other 1% I'm usually asleep.

— Anonymous

I once sneezed a beenie weenie through my nose. I also made a horse faint in Costa Rica.

— Anonymous

Will show ankle for five minutes of wireless.

— Anonymous

You know the burnt-out college student in front of you in line at Target who was intermittently chuckling to herself? Nice to…

— Anonymous

When I tweet, I tweet to kill.

— Anonymous

A man of mystery and power, whose power is exceeded only by his mystery.

— Anonymous

Currently working towards an MBA with an emphasis in fantasy football.

— Anonymous

Born at a very young age.

— Anonymous

Let me bitch at you every day until you sort your shit out.

— Anonymous

Trying to elevate small talk to medium talk.

— Anonymous

Im going to reveal the two secrets of my success: One; Dont reveal everything.

— Anonymous

Nice guys finish lunch.

— Anonymous

Im 25% mom 25% comedian 62% boobs 48% mathematician and 100% woman-monkey.

— Anonymous