Funny golfing Quotes

My body is here, but my mind has already teed off.

— Keith Michael

The harder you work, the luckier you become.

— Carl Karcher

Baseball reveals character; golf exposes it.

— Ernie Banks

The more you play it the less you know about it.

— Patty Berg

Never admit that your back goes out more than you do

— Joan Rivers

The woods are full of long drivers.

— Harvey Penick

Half of golf is fun; the other half is putting.

— Peter Dobereiner

May thy ball lie in green pastures, and not in still waters.

— Ben Hogan

It takes hundreds of good golf shots to gain confidence, but only one bad one to lose it.

— Jack Nicklaus

You know you're on the Senior Tour when your back goes out more than you do.

— Bob Bruce

Putting allows the touchy golfer two to four opportunities to blow a gasket in the short space of two to forty feet.

— Tommy Bolt

I'd like to see the fairways more narrow. Then everybody would have to play from the rough, not just me.

— Seve Ballesteros

I'm about five inches from being an outstanding golfer. That's the distance my left ear is from my right.

— Ben Crenshaw

This is a game of misses. The guy who misses the best is going to win.

— Ben Hogan

They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. It's more complicated than that.

— Gardner Dickinson

Fifty years ago, 100 white men chasing one black man across a field was called the Ku Klux Klan. Today it's called…

— Alex Hay

Golf is the closest game to the game we call life. You get bad breaks from good shots; you get good breaks…

— Bobby Jones

They throw their clubs backwards, and that's wrong. You should always throw a club ahead of you so that you don't have…

— Tommy Bolt

Drugs are very much a part of professional sports today, but when you think about it, golf is the only sport where…

— Bob Hope

Luck is predictable; the harder you work, the luckier you get.

— Brian Tracy

My father's saying, The harder you work, the luckier you get.

— Fiona Wood

I never learned anything from a match that I won.

— Bobby Jones

The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil.

— Chi Chi Rodriguez

Playing golf is like chasing a quinine pill around a cow pasture.

— Winston Churchill

The most important shot in golf is the next one.

— Ben Hogan

My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch.

— Lee Trevino

You swing your best when you have the fewest things to think about.

— Bobby Jones

Golf is a game where white men can dress up as black pimps and get away with it.

— Robin Williams

Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at it.

— Jimmy Demaret

I don't fear death, but I sure don't like those three-footers for par.

— Chi Chi Rodriguez

My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The rest can never be mastered.

— George Robertson, Baron Robertson of Port Ellen

The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody put a flagstick on top.

— Pete Dye

One thing about golf is you don't know why you play bad and why you play good.

— George Archer

Golf is a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic.

— Earl Wilson

Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick.

— P. J. O'Rourke

I never pray to God to make a putt. I pray to God to help me react good if I miss a…

— Chi Chi Rodriguez

Keep close count of your nickels and dimes, stay away from whiskey, and never concede a putt.

— Sam Snead

Find a man with both feet firmly on the ground and you've found a man about to make a difficult putt.

— Fletcher Knebel

Columbus went around the world in 1492. That isn't a lot of strokes when you consider the course.

— Lee Trevino

Art said he wanted to get more distance. I told him to hit it and run backward.

— Ken Venturi