Peace on earth will come to stay, When we live Christmas every day. — Helen Steiner Rice Copy Share Image
I haven't taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin. — Winston Spear Copy Share Image
Why are we not grateful to God for filling our stockings with legs? — Gilbert K. Chesterton Copy Share Image
What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day. — Phyllis Diller Copy Share Image
Were it not for the shepherds, there would have been no reception. And were it not for a group of stargazers, there… — Max Lucado Copy Share Image
I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark. — Dick Gregory Copy Share Image
Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
This year, I'm going to buy all of my Christmas gifts from Nike...Made for kids by kids. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Christmas is the season when people run out of money before they run out of friends. — Larry Wilde Copy Share Image
Last Christmas someone stole my present. I've spent this year living in the past. — Terry Alderton Copy Share Image
There are 364 days until Christmas and people already have their lights up. Unbelievable. — Goodmanb Copy Share Image
This past Christmas, I told my girlfriend for months in advance that all I wanted was an Xbox. That's it. Beginning and… — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food,… — Bill Watterson Copy Share Image
All New Years is to me is for taking down your dumb Christmas decorations. People who put up Christmas decorations, all they're… — Rich Vos Copy Share Image
Dear Santa, Please send your credit card numbers. its only fair since youre getting the credit for the gifts, that you should… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I sometimes think we expect too much of Christmas Day. We try to crowd into it the long arrears of kindliness and… — Ray Stannard Baker Copy Share Image
There is a remarkable breakdown of taste and intelligence at Christmastime. Mature, responsible grown men wear neckties made of holly leaves and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The principal advantage of the non-parental lifestyle is that on Christmas Eve you need not be struck dumb by the three most… — John Leo Copy Share Image
We have a small, tight family. I left home at a young age and the best thing for me was to go… — Jimmy Roy Copy Share Image
Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season, that very special time of year when we join with our loved… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I set a personal record on Christmas. I got my shopping done three weeks ahead of time. I had all the presents… — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
I've had this look for about a year. I usually grow this beard out around Christmas. I like to go to malls… — Marc Maron Copy Share Image
A merry Christmas to everybody! A happy New Year to all the world! — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people.… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
Mankind is a great, an immense family... This is proved by what we feel in our hearts at Christmas. — Pope John XXIII Copy Share Image
I heard the bells on Christmas Day Their old, familiar carols play, And wild and sweet The words repeat Of peace on… — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow Copy Share Image
Christmas never would have caught on if it had been called Celebrate a Little Jew's Birthday. — Andy Borowitz Copy Share Image
Roses are reddish, Violets are bluish, If it werent for Christmas, Wed all be Jewish. — Benny Hill Copy Share Image
You can never truly enjoy Christmas until you can look up into the Father's face and tell him you have received his… — John R. Rice Copy Share Image
The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each… — Johnny Carson Copy Share Image
