Funniest sports Quotes · Page 2

When you get that nice celebration coming into the dugout and you're getting your ass hammered by guys, there's no better feeling…

— Matt Stairs

They say that nobody is perfect. Then they tell you practice makes perfect. I wish they'd make up their minds.

— Anonymous

We're not attempting to circumcise rules.

— Bill Cowher

I don't want to shoot my mouth in my foot, but those are games we can win.

— Sherman Douglas

Ray Lewis is the type of guy, if he were in a fight with a bear I wouldn't help him, I'd pour…

— Shannon Sharpe

I thought lacrosse was what you find in la church.

— Robin Williams

The only way to stop Jim Brown was to give him a movie contract.

— Carl Lockhart

To win, I'd run over Joe's mom too.

— Matt Millen

The Bible never says anything about dinosaurs. You can't say there were dinosaurs when you never saw them. Somebody actually saw Adam…

— Carl Everett

I ain't gonna be no escape-goat!

— Karl Malone

We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.

— Jason Kidd

The NFL, like life, is full of idiots.

— Randy Cross

You don't like to see hookers going down on players like that.

— Murray Mexted

I made a 1,600 minus 800 minus 200 on the SAT, so I'm very intelligent when I speak.

— Shaquille O'Neal

I've had to overcome a lot of diversity.

— Drew Gooden

I was thinking about making a comeback, until I pulled a muscle vacuuming.

— Johnny Bench

I've never lost a game I just ran out of time.

— Michael Jordan

I quit school in the sixth grade because of pneumonia. Not because I had it, but because I couldn't spell it.

— Rocky Graziano

You guys line up alphabetically by height.

— Bill Peterson

The Mets just had their first .500-or-better April since July of 1992.

— Ralph Kiner

I can play in the center, on the right and occasionally on the left side.

— David Beckham

Fade into Bolivian, I guess.

— Mike Tyson

If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.

— Terry Venables

Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject.

— Shelby Metcalf

A day without newspapers is like walking around without your pants on.

— Jerry Coleman