“It was after an incident such as this that my friends and family decided something must be done. They gathered for a confabulation and, having established that secure psychiatric care was beyond their means, they turned in despair to the… — Mark Forsyth Copy Share Image
“Every dictionary contains a world. I open a book of thieves’ slang from Queen Anne’s reign and they have a hundred words for swords, for wenches, and for being hanged. They did no die, they danced on nothing. Then I peek into any one of my rural Victorian dictionaries, compiled by a lonely clergyman, with words for coppices, thickets, lanes,… — Mark Forsyth Copy Share
“Pot itself has nothing to do with pots and pans, but comes from the Mexican-Spanish word potiguaya, which means marijuana leaves. And marijuana is a Mexification of 'Mary Jane' for reasons that everybody is much too stoned to remember.” — Mark Forsyth Copy Share
Curiosity may have killed the cat, but it was the sausage-maker who disposed of the body. — Mark Forsyth Copy Share Image
Poetry is much more important than the truth, and, if you don't believe that, try using the two methods to get laid. — Mark Forsyth Copy Share Image
“Wouldst like to con a glimmer with me this early black?’, which he [Cab Calloway] helpfully explains as ‘the proper way to ask a young lady to go to the movies’. It should be noted here, that if the object of your affections replies ‘Kill me’, they are not requesting to be euthanatised and you should not actually murder them.… — Mark Forsyth Copy Share
“Love is nothing because those who do something for the love of it do it for nothing.” — Mark Forsyth Copy Share Image
“Wamblecropt is the most exquisite word in the English language. Say it. Each syllable is intolerably beautiful.” — Mark Forsyth Copy Share Image
“Shakespeare was not a genius. He was, without the distant shadow of a doubt, the most wonderful writer who ever breathed. But not a… — Mark Forsyth Copy Share Image
“The glamour's off. Almost any question you ask can be answered. It's only the questions that you didn't know to ask that remain, dancing… — Mark Forsyth Copy Share Image
“There's always a strange feeling you get when you come across one particular line by chance. It feels somehow significant. That's irrational of course,… — Mark Forsyth Copy Share Image
“Oxygen was called flammable air for a while, but it didn't catch on.” — Mark Forsyth Copy Share Image
