Being an England supporter is like being the over-optimistic parents of the fat kid on sports day. — John Bishop Copy Share Image
I have worked hard to be all the things that I thought a family man should be, but I probably could have done better by not trying to run a family like I was picking a five-a-side football team. — John Bishop Copy Share Image
You know what I mean, I'm not Tom Cruise. I can act as long as the character happens to look and sound a lot… — John Bishop Copy Share Image
I'm the type of bloke who gets a flatpack cabinet from Ikea, puts it together without reading the instructions, then gets the drill out… — John Bishop Copy Share Image
We live on a two week cycle in our house so if I go away for two weeks, it's too long. And if I'm… — John Bishop Copy Share Image
There's no slowing down but I've got to be honest, I'm probably not going to learn French. — John Bishop Copy Share Image
I started at 34 and I didn't go full time until I was 40. When I say started, I mean the first time I… — John Bishop Copy Share Image
I didn't want to do comedic acting because I don't think I am very good at it. — John Bishop Copy Share Image
What I found absolutely the best thing about comedy is it's a little club. You find yourself part of this strange needy society of… — John Bishop Copy Share Image
When I was 10 I had a bone disease called osteomyelitis; they said if they didn't operate, I had 24 hours to live. — John Bishop Copy Share Image
I can only develop a stand-up show by being on stage. I can't write it. Whenever I see comedy written down, it very rarely… — John Bishop Copy Share Image
