They had so much rain in New York that a lot of the cabbies had their first shower in years. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Barack Obama's mother-in-law might be moving into the White House with him. Joe Biden was right. Hostile forces will test him in… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
In his first speech as Speaker, Boehner thanked his loved ones - tobacco lobbyists, the oil companies, the CEOs. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Bush has unveiled his first campaign commercial, highlighting all of his accomplishes in office. That's why it's a 60-second spot. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I'm glad the government has shut down. Think about it, for the first time in years it's safe to talk on the… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
And some sad news... the first lesbian couple to legally get married in the state of Massachusetts has split up. They cited… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
First there's the promise ring, then the engagement ring, then the wedding ring... soon after... comes Suffer...ring! — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Two Americans have been awarded the Nobel Prize for Economics. They are the first to figure out all the charges on their… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Texas Governor Rick Perry now says his wife has been encouraging him to run for President. Remember first he told us God… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
People want to say there isn't racial profiling at the airport, but let's be honest. If you first name is Mohammed, and… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Barack Obama spent his first day as president-elect putting together his transition team. And if you believe MSNBC, by tomorrow he will… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Hillary Clinton's opponent in the U.S. Senate race, the Republican she's going to be running against, has been married three times, had… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
There is now a $5 million dollar bounty on Osama bin Laden. Which marks the first time in history there has ever… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Hey, Barack Obama had to give up his Blackberry. He's the first wired president. ... He might have to give his Blackberry… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
A woman in Great Britain has died after being hit in the back of the head by a golf ball, on the… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
John Kerry's wife Teresa Heinz is on the cover of Newsweek magazine this week and they said that if he is elected… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Former Vice President Al Gore starring in a new documentary about global warming. I believe it's called [Leno snores]. ... The film… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The federal government said today they've begun training sessions for airport security workers to provide what they call more customer satisfaction to… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
According to the L.A. Times, Attorney General John Ashcroft wants to take "a harder stance" on the death penalty. What's a harder… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
So, Wesley Clark is running for president. Pretty amazing guy. Four star general, first in his class at West Point, supreme commander… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Well, it looks like John Boehner will be the new Speaker of the House. He is the son of a bartender, one… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
They determined who got the first question by a coin toss, to which Sarah Palin said, 'Oh, what a coincidence, that's how… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Flinstones wore furs, they ate red meat, and had a stoneage philosophy. In fact, they were the first Republicans. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
San Francisco hosted the first medical marijuana job fair. The keynote speech was titled, 'Jobs and How to Avoid Getting One.' — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
For the first time in history, sex is more dangerous than the cigarette afterward. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Congratulation s to Rahm Emanuel on being elected mayor of Chicago. His first order of business after taking office will be to… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
At the airport if you refuse to be patted down, they arrest you. And what's the first thing they do when they… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Republican debate got pretty heated. They spent most of their time arguing over who God called first. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The first lady said about her husband, 'I could take up a whole afternoon talking about his failures.' And today she was… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The first Olympic Games were held in 776 BC. Do you know who lit the flame? Betty White. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
US officials have now approved the first anti-obesity drug for dogs. I'm no a veterinarian, but if your dog is over eating,… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Today, President Barack Obama promised to 'detect and pursue' American tax evaders, as opposed to his first 100 days, in which he… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Obama administration has admitted that under Obamacare, you might not be able to keep your doctor. At first the president guaranteed… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The first case of mad cow disease since 2006 was discovered right here in the United States. The good news, since the… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
They say John Kerry is the first Democratic presidential candidate in history to raise $50 million in a three-month period. Actually, that's… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
According to a new book coming out by a Pulitzer Prize-winning author, apparently when he was in high school, President Obama smoked… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
A survey says that American workers work the first three hours every day just to pay their taxes. So that's why we… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Disneyland celebrated its 40th anniversary by burying a time capsule. They say it will be dug up in 50 years - or… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
John Kerry announced that he and his wife are leaving on a week-long vacation. He's going to take her back to the… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Massachusetts became the first state to marry gay couples, though lawmakers say allowing gay couples to get married raises a lot of… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends… — Jay Leno Copy Share
There is a nationwide shortage of drugs for Attention Deficit Disorder. The FDA says they're not sure how it happened. I guess somebody wasn't… — Jay Leno Copy Share
“Leno said the rainy weather in California "couldn't have come at a worse possible time. Today was the day NBC was supposed to burn… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Donald Trump said he will not decide about a possible run for the presidency until after the current season of Celebrity Apprentice wraps up.… — Jay Leno Copy Share
American forces in Iraq found $650 million in American cash sealed in a hidden cottage. See, this is why President Bush wants to invade… — Jay Leno Copy Share
I wanted to have a career in sports when I was young, but I had to give up the idea. I'm only six feet… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Texas Gov. Rick Perry referred to the Mexican city of Juarez as the most dangerous city in America. In his defense, he probably just… — Jay Leno Copy Share
You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out. — Jay Leno Copy Share
The Mayans have predicted the world is supposed to end on December 21. If the world doesn't end on December 21, you can bet… — Jay Leno Copy Share
The Globe reports that North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il raises money by selling fake Viagra pills. What it is about this guy? None of… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Here is your government at work. A congressman from Colorado said he wants to draft a rule that would make it unethical to have… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Jack Abramoff is going to testify against some of the other weasels in Congress. A lobbyist testifying against congressmen? How many Bibles are going… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Tomorrow, America's most famous hockey mom, Sarah Palin, will drop the ceremonial first puck at the Philadelphia Flyers game. Right afterwards, she'll get out… — Jay Leno Copy Share
![“Former Vice President Al Gore starring in a new documentary about global warming. I believe it's called [Leno snores]. ... The film actually features Al Gore and explores his journey on how he first got interested in temperature change. It started back when he was vice president. He noticed how…” quote by Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a25/jay-leno-210_al-gore_former-vice-president-al-gore-starring-i_558100.png)
