I never knew you were supposed to push off of your feet when you walked. And I tried it, and I walked much faster. — John Mulaney Copy Share Image
I don't know if there's a strategy really so much as, like I learned doing standup and had to learn fast, you always just… — John Mulaney Copy Share
I never turn on the crowd. Sometimes, you think it's a terrible show, and then afterward, sometimes people say they really liked it. So… — John Mulaney Copy Share
If I was at the Comedy Cellar at midnight you yelled at the back of the room. But you, for television, play it to… — John Mulaney Copy Share
Ill book a ticket on some garbage airline. I dont wanna name an actual airline so lets make one up, lets just call it… — John Mulaney Copy Share
You can't always see both sides of the story. Eventually, you have to pick a side and stick with it. No more equivocating. You… — John Mulaney Copy Share
With the first episode [of John Mulaney Show] I tell a story that happened to me accidentally chasing a woman down the subway. — John Mulaney Copy Share
Part of standup is being loose and having a good time yourself and that translates to the audience. — John Mulaney Copy Share
I have a lot of stories about being a kid because it was the last time I was interesting. — John Mulaney Copy Share
Going on the road for long stretches can seem daunting, and I certainly miss being home sometimes, but the chance to see so many… — John Mulaney Copy Share
I do longer runs on things, a lot stories. I really like one-liners, I like a lot of different kinds of standup but I've… — John Mulaney Copy Share
If you’re comparing the badness of two words and you won’t even say one of them [the n-word], that’s the worse word. — John Mulaney Copy Share
In every case, I find pre-planning noble, but not always that useful in comedy. You know comedy once you're doing it. — John Mulaney Copy Share
