Even when I go to a salad bar, I need to feel like I'm one of the first people there. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
Pain only hurts when you are looking for a reason to quit. You don't feel a thing when you know you can… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
I feel like people who don't brag are trying to make you jealous by thinking they're hiding something more even exciting. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
I feel like I was born and bred to stay self-motivated. I'm not one of those people who ho-hums and feels sorry… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
Sometimes, when a person gains a lot of success at a very young age, they become targets, and it's really easy to… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
I'm curious by individuals that embrace half a story so they can justify how incomplete they feel about their own self worth. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
I do try to keep my show very improvisational. I don't work off a set list; I like to keep it more… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
I don't get any anxiety. I don't because of two reasons. Number one, just breaking through it as a kid and finally… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
I can't relate to the idea of suicide. I guess I'm just one of those people that is always optimistic and upbeat.… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
Comedy crowds - we always want to come out and ask you, 'How you feeling?' We always say that, 'By a round… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
Some people give you that motivation to work harder simply to get the hell away from wherever they are. — Dane Cook Copy Share
Every great thing starts with an idea, followed by a doubt and finally a resolve to abandon or pursue. Victory is a treacherous journey. — Dane Cook Copy Share
My real first job was delivering newspapers with I was 15. I would ride my bike around and chuck papers at people's houses. The… — Dane Cook Copy Share
I do think I am funny, or I wouldn't be where I am today. I do think there is always room for improvement and… — Dane Cook Copy Share
If you think your demeanor is mellow or not particularly charismatic, the material can life you higher. So write everyday, and get onstage or… — Dane Cook Copy Share
If you lie to a person at least tell someone else you've lied to the truth. It balances out your karma. — Dane Cook Copy Share
Trolls look for reasons to hate but really what they are mad at is the fact they are not included in anything ever. — Dane Cook Copy Share
In school I was pretty quiet. Kinda shy until my junior year. But at home I was a freak. — Dane Cook Copy Share
Strip clubs are great places to meet interesting people you only wanna know for about 40 minutes. — Dane Cook Copy Share
I can't relate to the idea of suicide. I guess I'm just one of those people that is always optimistic and upbeat. But one… — Dane Cook Copy Share
Someone needs to make a zombie movie where when you get bit it turns you into a singing and dancing extraordinaire. — Dane Cook Copy Share
