“You had an arse full of farts that night, darling, and I fucked them out of you...” — James Joyce Copy Share Image
Some of them relate to farts but they are not fart jokes. They would just be a fart in the joke but… — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
A dog is not intelligent. Never trust an animal that's surprised by it's own farts — Frank Skinner Copy Share Image
You dont want to mess with the ROCK and SOCK connection. Who are you two popcorn farts? — The Rock Copy Share Image
Kids are like farts, you don't mind your own, but others are unbearable. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when someone bends down to pick something up and farts. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Ridge: Better. I can’t hear my own farts, so sometimes I’ll forget that other people can hear them.” — Colleen Hoover Copy Share Image
“If I could make money making armpit farts, I would. But since I can't, I teach. And write.” — Richard B. Knight Copy Share Image
As soon as somebody farts around me, I think it's hilarious. This is something my brothers did that now the boys at… — Jennifer Lawrence Copy Share Image
“Are you still doing that crap?" I ask. "You can't even do it properly," Eileen says. "Just a matter of practice," Simone… — Randa Abdel-Fattah Copy Share Image
No Angie, it's instant. Like when someone trips in the cafeteria and you're laughing so hard milk comes out of your nose,… — George Lopez Copy Share Image
“Slick, come up to the crow's nest for some fresh air? Can't blame you. Those beans served at lunch may be Hitler's… — Dane Hatchell Copy Share Image
I think that everything starts to go to hell when you start smelling your own farts and complimenting yourself on how great… — D. B. Weiss Copy Share Image
Even the idea of a fart makes me laugh. Saying the word 'fart' makes me laugh. I have iFart on my phone.… — George Clooney Copy Share Image
There's a Drunk Midget in My House Ah, babies! They're more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your… — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
“Akiko was in a meeting with her superior officers when she farted and tore a hole in her chair. The fart was… — Peter Tieryas Copy Share Image
“Uh-oh,' said Gazzy, but Angel was so nauseated she didn't have time to leap to a safe distance, or grab a gas… — James Patterson Copy Share Image
“Dog Farts:Dogs may be man’s best friends but dog farts remain among the most rancid and foul smelling things ever to enter… — James Carlisle Copy Share Image
In real life people fart, in the movies, people don't. Why not? Farts are a repressed minority. The mouth gets to say… — Mel Brooks Copy Share Image
“I found this, though," Gazzy said excitedly, holding up a small green box. "Gas-X! Like, 'X' for explosion! This is great! I'm… — James Patterson Copy Share Image
If you eat Chinese food, your farts come out like Chinese food. If you eat Mexican food, your farts come out like… — Megan Fox Copy Share Image
“Shit" Bug said, his face sour. "It's that thing again. We've been dealing with it since Pierce. You think you have a… — Ilona Andrews Copy Share Image
“Pbbtlt. "It smells like ham, Glo said. It must be Hatchet" Hatchet moved out of the shadows. "My intent was to capture… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
Many individuals spend a considerable portion of their lifetimes in terror of one imagined catastrophe or another. The classic is that your… — L. Neil Smith Copy Share Image
