That awkward moment when you see someone coming your way after you've just farted. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
There are too many people writing about whether they just farted or not. — Mick Hucknall Copy Share Image
My 'friend' just farted in the car and locked the windows on me. How was your night? — Jason Kennedy Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you fart and your friend says I think one of the dogs just farted. — Lexi Lou Copy Share Image
I farted in the apple store and everyone got mad but it wasn't my fault they don't have Windows. — Ramandeep Singh Copy Share Image
“The old man was in agony because of gas. He farted tremendously, and then he belched.” — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
I have never farted in front of a guy I fancied before - I was so embarrassed!. — Rebecca Loos Copy Share Image
“standing in front of a creeper. I turned round and farted at it, the traditional creeper greeting. A fart is about as… — Diary Wimpy Copy Share Image
When I did 'Alice by Heart,' on one of the lifts, I farted a little bit and everyone heard it in the… — Molly Gordon Copy Share Image
“Mom stopped reading, closed the book, and started laughing her ass off. Behind her a bunch of old dudes reading newspapers looked… — Walter Sorrells Copy Share Image
Since Jesus was human then he most assuredly farted and burped. And if God did create us in God's image then God… — Sherman Alexie Copy Share Image
Hahaha XD my brother, mom, and I waiting in line in MCdonalds and my brother farted then I farted then my mom… — Patience Copy Share Image
Just asked my fiance to dance with me as if it were our first dance. Then he farted and I had to… — Danielle Fishel Copy Share Image
“I had two beady brown eyes that, no matter how hard I tried to look mysterious and cool, always seemed to say… — Brian Katcher Copy Share Image
“Akiko was in a meeting with her superior officers when she farted and tore a hole in her chair. The fart was… — Peter Tieryas Copy Share Image
I don't feel so good." Lula said. And she farted. She squeezed her eyes shut tight and did a full minute-long fart.… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
“Fat Johnny reached down, and as he grasped the wallet, he farted loudly and screamed. With faint amusement the gunslinger realized he… — Stephen King Copy Share Image
“Those ever more frequent nights when his loneliness became unbearable and he took solace in wine he would sometimes stand outside his… — Ernest K. Gann Copy Share Image
“What happened next… well, I'm going to blame it on the fact that I was scared. And I had just flown or… — Dinah Katt Copy Share Image
“The girdle went from just under my breasts to the top of my knees. It cinched me in pretty tight. In fact,… — Mollie Gross Copy Share Image
“Angie breathed deeply, then turned ten shades of puce. “Aren’t you guys dead? Why are you still able to fart?” I laughed… — Megan Curd Copy Share Image
We had a teacher, named Mr. Brown, and he was writing something on the board once - he was writing something on… — Donald Glover Copy Share Image
“And we took off-whoosh-into the night. Through the clouds, we hurtled up into the sky. And this man farted. I will never… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
There I sat all broken hearted, Tried to shit and only farted. Later on I took a chance, Tried to fart and… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My dad was proud of himself when he farted. He sounds like he's strangling a chicken when he farts. — Carl Barron Copy Share Image
“Shit,” he said as if she were being funny. “I’m not going near that door. Looks like the devil farted pure hell… — A.R. Wise Copy Share Image
It would be nice if people said, God bless you not just when you sneezed but also when you farted. — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
