“Politics aside, empathy is not about being nice or agreeing with the other side. It’s about understanding them. Empathy helps us learn the position the enemy is in, why their actions make sense (to them), and what might move them.” — Chris Voss Copy Share Image
“Most of the time, you should be using the positive/playful voice. It’s the voice of an easygoing, good-natured person. Your attitude is light and… — Chris Voss Copy Share
“By repeating back what people say, you trigger this mirroring instinct and your counterpart will inevitably elaborate on what was just said and sustain… — Chris Voss Copy Share
“Every case is new. We must let what we know - our known knowns - guide us but not blind us to what we… — Chris Voss Copy Share
“The Downs hijacking case came to epitomize everything not to do in a crisis situation, and inspired the development of today’s theories, training, and… — Chris Voss Copy Share
“In any interaction, it pleases us to feel that the other side is listening and acknowledging our situation. Whether you are negotiating a business… — Chris Voss Copy Share
“Here are some other great standbys that I use in almost every negotiation, depending on the situation: What about this is important to you?… — Chris Voss Copy Share
“If I just ask for a volunteer, my students sit on their hands and look away. You’ve been there. You can almost feel your… — Chris Voss Copy Share
“when you phrase a label as a neutral statement of understanding, it encourages your counterpart to be responsive. They’ll usually give a longer answer… — Chris Voss Copy Share
“There are essentially three voice tones available to negotiators: the late-night FM DJ voice, the positive/playful voice, and the direct or assertive voice. Forget… — Chris Voss Copy Share
“Instead of addressing his grumpy behavior, you acknowledge his sadness in a nonjudgmental way. You head him off before he can really get started.… — Chris Voss Copy Share
“Notice we said 'It sounds like . . .' and not 'I'm hearing that . . .' That's because the word 'I' gets people's… — Chris Voss Copy Share
“What were needed were simple psychological tactics and strategies that worked in the field to calm people down, establish rapport, gain trust, elicit the… — Chris Voss Copy Share
“they should be teased out. Labeling is a helpful tactic in de-escalating angry confrontations, because it makes the person acknowledge their feelings rather than… — Chris Voss Copy Share
“List the worst things that the other party could say about you and say them before the other person can. Performing an accusation audit… — Chris Voss Copy Share
“There’s one powerful way to quiet the voice in your head and the voice in their head at the same time: treat two schizophrenics… — Chris Voss Copy Share
