Eddie Izzard is wonderful, I think, but I've only seen that one HBO special he did. He's one of the few people who talk about stuff other than girlfriends and relationships and flatulence and genitalia. There are very few of… — Tom Lehrer Copy Share Image
Plagiarize, plagiarize, / Let no man's work evade your eyes, / Remember why the good Lord made your eyes, / Don't shade your eyes,… — Tom Lehrer Copy Share
I ache for the touch of your lips dear, but much more for the touch of your whips dear. — Tom Lehrer Copy Share
When someone makes a move Of which we don't approve, Who is it that always intervenes? U.N. and O.A.S., They have their place, I… — Tom Lehrer Copy Share
I'm not tempted to write a song about George W. Bush. I couldn't figure out what sort of song I would write. That's the… — Tom Lehrer Copy Share
Don't solicit for your sister, it's not nice. Unless you get a good percentage of her price. — Tom Lehrer Copy Share
It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years. — Tom Lehrer Copy Share
“I am never forget the day I first meet the great Lobachevsky. In one word he told me secret of success in mathematics: Plagiarize!… — Tom Lehrer Copy Share
Counting in octal is just likst counting in decimal--if you don't use your thumbs. — Tom Lehrer Copy Share
Disclaimer: If anyone disagrees with anything I say, I am quite prepared to not only retract it, but also to deny under oath I… — Tom Lehrer Copy Share
I don't want to satirise George Bush and his puppeteers, I want to vaporise them. — Tom Lehrer Copy Share
San Francisco is a city of twenty-something millionaire white kids named Doug. — Tom Lehrer Copy Share
On Christmas day you can't get sore, Your fellow man you must adore, There's time to cheat him all the more The other three… — Tom Lehrer Copy Share
Be prepared, and be careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one watching you. — Tom Lehrer Copy Share
There's something mathematically satisfying about music: notes fit together and harmony and all that. And mathematics has to do with abstractions and making connections. — Tom Lehrer Copy Share
