“I've never had much luck with New Year's resolutions. Last year I only lasted three days before realizing I couldn't survive without junk food. And the year before that, when my sister and I promised not to argue anymore, we… — James Ponti Copy Share Image
“Zues?" I said. "His computer. He named it." Then she whispered conspiratorially, "He acts like it's a person." "I do not," he said as… — James Ponti Copy Share
“I mean it, guys," I said. "Why don't you play Two Foot Trivia instead? It's just as fun and much safer." "First of all,… — James Ponti Copy Share
“I've never had much luck with New Year's resolutions. Last year I only lasted three days before realizing I couldn't survive without junk food.… — James Ponti Copy Share
“I hate zombies. I know that sound prejudiced. I'm sure some zombies are really nice to kittens and love their parents. But it's been… — James Ponti Copy Share
“If this had been a public-school locker room, there would have been some gray jumbo-sized garbage cans nearby, and I probably could've taken care… — James Ponti Copy Share
