Life does not consist mainly - or even largely - of facts and happenings. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Hero: Person in a book who does things which he can't and girl marries him for it. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Men are more compassionate/(nobler)/magnanimous/generous than God; for men forgive their dead, but God does not. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Whose property is my body? Probably mine. I so regard it. If I experiment with it, who must be answerable? I, not… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Life does not consist mainly, or even largely, of facts and happenings. It consists mainly ofthe storm of thought that is forever… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The idea that no gentleman ever swears is all wrong. He can swear and still be a gentleman if he does it… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
An Englishman is a person who does things because they have been done before. An American is a person who does things… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Good judgment comes from experience. And where does experience come from? Experience comes from bad judgment. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Steal a chicken if you get a chance, Huck, because if you don't want it, someone else does and a good deed… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If the man doesn't believe as we do, we say he is a crank, and that settles it. I mean, it does… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Does the human being reason? No; he thinks, muses, reflects, but does not reason...that is, in the two things which are the… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Heroine: Girl in a book who is saved from drowning by a hero and marries him next week, but if it was… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The true and lasting genius of humour does not drag you thus to boxes labelled 'pathos,' 'humour,' and show you all the… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
It is plain that there is one moral law for heaven and another for the earth. The pulpit assures us that wherever… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
You may say a cat uses good grammar. Well, a cat does -- but you let a cat get excited once; you… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Well - Patriotism has its laws. And it also is a perfectly definite one, there are not vaguenesses about it. It commands… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Sometimes I lifted a chicken that warn't roosting comfortable, and took him along. Pap always said, take a chicken when you get… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
We have to keep our God placated with prayer, and even then we are never sure of him-how much higher and finer… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The true charm of pedestrianism does not lie in the walking, or in the scenery, but in the talking. The walking is… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Thou shalt not commit adultry is a command which makes no distinction between the following persons. They are all required to obey… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The citizen who thinks he sees that the commonwealth's political clothes are worn out, and yet holds his peace and does not… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I thought tamarinds were made to eat, but that was probably not the idea. I ate several, and it seemed to me… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
There was no place in the land where the seeker could not find some small budding sign of pity for the slave.… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Man is the only slave. And he is the only animal who enslaves. He has always been a slave in one form… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Nevertheless we have this curious spectacle: daily the trained parrot in the pulpit gravely delivers himself of these ironies, which he has… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I find no change of consequence in grown people, I do not miss the dead. It does not surprise me to hear… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The true charm of pedestrians does not lie in the walking, or in the scenery, but in the talking. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
That's just the way: a person does a low-down thing, and then he don't want to take no consequences of it. Thinks… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
There's some human instinct which makes a man treasure what he is not to make any use of, because everybody does not… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
From his cradle to his grave a man never does a single thing which has any FIRST AND FOREMOST object but one… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Fortune knocks at every man's door once in a life, but in a good many cases the man is in a neighboring… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Don't wake up a woman in love. Let her dream, so that she does not weep when she returns to her bitter… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Adam was not alone in the Garden of Eden, however, and does not deserve all the credit; much is due to Eve,… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The Koran does not permit Mohammedans to drink. Their natural instincts do not permit them to be moral. They say the Sultan… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Prohibition only drives drunkenness behind doors and into dark places, and does not cure it or even diminish it. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth. — Mark Twain Copy Share
If you had made the acquiring of ignorance the study of your life, you could not have graduated with higher honor than you could… — Mark Twain Copy Share
“The Creator sat upon the throne, thinking. Behind him stretched the illimitable continent of heaven, steeped in a glory of light and color; before… — Mark Twain Copy Share
A man accustomed to American food and American domestic cookery would not starve to death suddenly in Europe, but I think he would gradually… — Mark Twain Copy Share
I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get… — Mark Twain Copy Share
The higher animals get their teeth without pain or inconvenience. Man gets his through months and months of cruel torture; he will never get… — Mark Twain Copy Share
“As far as I can see, Italy, for fifteen hundred years, has turned all her energies, all her finances, and all her industry to… — Mark Twain Copy Share
Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened on either… — Mark Twain Copy Share
If we could imagine such a man, that is a man who could invent the fly and send him out on his mission and… — Mark Twain Copy Share
You perceive, now, that these things are all impossible except in a dream. You perceive that they are pure and puerile insanities, the silly… — Mark Twain Copy Share
Lord save us all from a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. — Mark Twain Copy Share
