Most people don't get lucky. They get human. They get crushes. This means you irrationally mortgage what little logic you own to pay for this one thing. This relationship is an impulse buy, and you'll figure out if it's worth… — Sloane Crosley Copy Share Image
Are there moments when I see unrequited crushes or ex-boyfriends slow dancing with their dates and kind of want to stab myself in the spleen with a salad fork? Yeah, sure. — Sloane Crosley Copy Share Image
“Names I am most commonly called by telemarketers: Simone, Slain, Siobhan, Flo, Stacey, Susan, Slater, Leanne, and Slow (Yes, my parents named me "Slow".… — Sloane Crosley Copy Share
“I’m not sure how the ponies happened, though I have an inkling: “Can I get you anything?” I’ll say, getting up from a dinner… — Sloane Crosley Copy Share
As most New Yorkers have done, I have given serious and generous thought to the state of my apartment should I get killed during… — Sloane Crosley Copy Share
“If I could just get my partner to see me how she used to - to fall in love with me all over again… — Sloane Crosley Copy Share
I don't really think of my essays as being about myself. I know it sounds insane, but I just don't think of them as… — Sloane Crosley Copy Share
It takes a level of creative depression to hear 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' and weep. — Sloane Crosley Copy Share
I wouldn't want to live in Berlin. It's bombed out and there's a lot of techno. — Sloane Crosley Copy Share
The reason that war is such a fascinating subject for writers is because it's a revealer. Put a bunch of people in an adrenaline-fuelled,… — Sloane Crosley Copy Share
“Shortly after this exchange my roommate suggested we start throwing water balloons at the construction workers. Not really at them because, I know, I… — Sloane Crosley Copy Share
When it seems impossible that a deep connection with another person could just go away instead of changing form. It seems impossible that you… — Sloane Crosley Copy Share
Because I am a horrible flincher, contact lenses are not an option. I'm always envious of contact-wearers. There are endless reasons to take off… — Sloane Crosley Copy Share
“How can we not still be rooting for the younger versions of ourselves as if they actually exist, playing catch-up in time? Who wouldn’t… — Sloane Crosley Copy Share
There is no such thing as a crazy dog person in New York. Are there people who are completely insane about their dogs? Hordes.… — Sloane Crosley Copy Share
As most doctors will tell you, cleansing is ridiculous. You know what's been around longer than that state-of-the-art juicer? Your kidneys. And your liver.… — Sloane Crosley Copy Share
