You have to understand, I can't do any jokes about Ross Perot, because the last thing I need right now is another credit check. — Pat Paulsen Copy Share Image
Only a cheap politician, greedy for political gain, would try to single out one individual for blame. The fault lies not with the individual… — Pat Paulsen Copy Share
Assuming either the Left Wing or the Right Wing gained control of the country, it would probably fly around in circles. — Pat Paulsen Copy Share
I like to pour my wines for people. I watch their eyes, I can see what they'll like. Most people say they don't like… — Pat Paulsen Copy Share
In conclusion, you can see that there is a place for censors and we only wish that we could tell you where it is. — Pat Paulsen Copy Share
I read an article that said one in five Americans thinks Elvis is alive. I want to find those morons and get them registered… — Pat Paulsen Copy Share
I've been on the campaign trail so long, some of my wine has turned to vinegar. — Pat Paulsen Copy Share
Censorship does not interfere with the constitutional rights of every American to sit alone in a dark room in the nude and cuss. — Pat Paulsen Copy Share
Wine is something to enjoy. We get sick and tired of people who pick it apart and talk about its 'saucy nuances.' — Pat Paulsen Copy Share
I once told Tommy Smothers, 'If I could just get the money and the women straightened out, the rest of my life would be… — Pat Paulsen Copy Share
I will not claim I will solve all the world's problems by myself. If I did, I'd have to run as a Republican or… — Pat Paulsen Copy Share
The last few years of my life have been a little like a long ride in a Poop de Ville with the bottom down. — Pat Paulsen Copy Share
Having a comic in the White House will assure stability in foreign relations. The world will continue to respond to foreign initiatives by saying,… — Pat Paulsen Copy Share
You can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time, but you can only… — Pat Paulsen Copy Share
