Of the demonstrably wise there are but two: those who commit suicide, & those who keep their reasoning faculties atrophied with drink. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Thou shalt not commit adultry is a command which makes no distinction between the following persons. They are all required to obey… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
As by the fires of experience, so by commission of crime you learn real morals. Commit all crimes, familiarize yourself with all… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The spirit of Christianity proclaims the brotherhood of the race and the meaning of that strong word has not been left to… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Why was the human race created? Or at least why wasn't something creditable created in place of it? God had His opportunity.… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
there was no crime in unconscious plagiarism; that I committed it everyday, that he committed it everyday, that every man alive on… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Strange a God who mouths Golden Rules and forgiveness, then invented hell; who mouths morals to other people and has none Himself;… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Frankenstein took some flesh and bones and blood and made a man out of them; the man ran away and fell to… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The best minds will tell you that when a man has begotten a child he is morally bound to tenderly care for… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth. — Mark Twain Copy Share
If you had made the acquiring of ignorance the study of your life, you could not have graduated with higher honor than you could… — Mark Twain Copy Share
“The Creator sat upon the throne, thinking. Behind him stretched the illimitable continent of heaven, steeped in a glory of light and color; before… — Mark Twain Copy Share
A man accustomed to American food and American domestic cookery would not starve to death suddenly in Europe, but I think he would gradually… — Mark Twain Copy Share
I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get… — Mark Twain Copy Share
The higher animals get their teeth without pain or inconvenience. Man gets his through months and months of cruel torture; he will never get… — Mark Twain Copy Share
“As far as I can see, Italy, for fifteen hundred years, has turned all her energies, all her finances, and all her industry to… — Mark Twain Copy Share
Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened on either… — Mark Twain Copy Share
If we could imagine such a man, that is a man who could invent the fly and send him out on his mission and… — Mark Twain Copy Share
You perceive, now, that these things are all impossible except in a dream. You perceive that they are pure and puerile insanities, the silly… — Mark Twain Copy Share
Lord save us all from a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. — Mark Twain Copy Share
