The actual distance a bad golfer is going to hit the ball with any club obviously depends on many factors, not the least of which is whether the ball was actually hit at all. — Leslie Nielsen Copy Share Image
The reason they call it 'golf' is that all the other 4 letter words were used up. — Leslie Nielsen Copy Share Image
I would love to see what's going to happen with science fiction with peoples' heads, because we still have people running around in the year 2050 or 2100 or 2200 and they have incredible technology and you see the effects: laser beams and rays and beaming down and beaming up. Incredible technical things happening, but everybody is still running around… — Leslie Nielsen Copy Share
I had always functioned with dignity, wanting to appear intelligent, macho, never vulnerable or insecure. But now I realize that... a part of these… — Leslie Nielsen Copy Share Image
The violence or the vaudeville style of comedy is a technique all by itself. You get up there, and you are a comedian, and… — Leslie Nielsen Copy Share Image
Yes, it's true, I've been called the Laurence Olivier of spoofs. I guess that would make Laurence Olivier the Leslie Nielsen of Shakespeare. — Leslie Nielsen Copy Share Image
I like my sex the way I play basketball, one on one with as little dribbling as possible. — Leslie Nielsen Copy Share Image
One thing a person won't do when he's laughing is try to beat you up. — Leslie Nielsen Copy Share Image
There were 15 people in the village, including five of us. If my father arrested somebody in the winter, he'd have to wait until… — Leslie Nielsen Copy Share Image
It's not really that I've been an advocate for hearing aids for a long time, it's just that I've been losing my hearing for… — Leslie Nielsen Copy Share Image
When you see Charlie Chaplin, he stays funny. He doesn't become drama, and so what really seems to endure is comedy. — Leslie Nielsen Copy Share Image
Like a blind man at an orgy, I was going to have to feel my way through. — Leslie Nielsen Copy Share Image
