Scientists have discovered a black hole that is 12 billion times the size of our sun. It's full of Hillary Clinton emails. — David Letterman Copy Share Image
George W. said he doesn't watch television. And, of course, well - the reason for that is the Clintons stole the White… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Bill Clinton may in fact be moving back into the White House. And coincidentally I'm thinking about moving back into my mother's… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Hillary Clinton could use one of these Apple Watches. She could hook it up to her secret email account. If you want… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
We make a lot of fun at President Clinton's expense. But this transition is going to be tough because it's been 25… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Congratulations to Bill and Hillary Clinton: this weekend, 33rd wedding anniversary. How about that? And you thought the Iraqi war was a… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Hillary Clinton is running for president. This time around, she promises to be warm and approachable. Like me. — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Congratulations to Chelsea Clinton. Over the weekend, she gave birth to a baby girl. The baby girl will not confirm or deny… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
There's some kind of a thing where when she was Secretary of State she was using her own e-mail instead of the… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Former President Bill Clinton is on the program tonight. He says that while his wife runs for president, he would like to… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Hillary Clinton is now in Iowa. She's spending every waking minute of her day meeting ordinary people, and it's to prepare her… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Barack Obama is putting his team together to take over the Administration. So far, he's got his mother-in-law, who is going to… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Did you hear what the Republicans have said about Hillary Clinton? They say she's too angry to be president. Hillary Clinton, Senator… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Bill Clinton has a brand new book coming out in a few months and the Democrats are worried that the Clinton book… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Hillary Clinton, our junior senator from New York, announced that she has no intentions of ever, ever running for office of the… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
We inadvertently bombed the Chinese Embassy. But Clinton now is working very hard. He has sent a letter of apology to the… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
The entire island of Martha's Vineyard has gone Obama crazy. There's even a cocktail that they've named after Barack Obama. It's called… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Last night we had Bill Clinton, the former president. Security was as tight as Governor Christie's yoga pants. — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Hillary Clinton is campaigning in Iowa, virtually going door to door to every home in Iowa. Jehovah's Witnesses finally got fed up… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Hillary Clinton is driving across Iowa in a van. It's to get to know the people she'll never, ever see again in… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Iraq is so bad that President Obama phoned Hillary Clinton and asked her if she could start early. — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Compared to Clinton, I feel like a loser. I can't even get the intern to make me coffee! — David Letterman Copy Share Image
A lot of people think I'm retiring, but I've been telling a fib. I've been forced to leave this job because I… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
This Hillary Clinton scandal has to do with emails. All I get are emails for Canadian Viagra. — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Today is Earth Day. The way I see it, as humans the very least we can do is recycle. A lot of… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Yesterday, the Senate voted to approve President Clinton's decision to send troops to Bosnia. And they voted to change the name of… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
We're learning more about Osama bin Laden. His father was married 16 times, and he has five wives. I think we're getting… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Monday is President's Day and former President Bill Clinton is very excited. He is taking George Bush, Sr. to 'Hooters'. ... George… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Two things you need to know about taxes. They've extended the deadline to April 18, and when you write your check, just make it… — David Letterman Copy Share
You know Kim Jong Un, the evil dictator of North Korea? Apparently, a guy in his inner circle used his ashtray while smoking and… — David Letterman Copy Share
It's the first day of spring. That means this weekend I'll take down my Christmas lights. — David Letterman Copy Share
There are a lot of New York City Thanksgiving traditions. For example, a lot of New Yorkers don't buy the frozen Thanksgiving turkey. They… — David Letterman Copy Share
Experts say this global warming is serious, and they are predicting now that by the year 2050, we will be out of party ice. — David Letterman Copy Share
We make a lot of fun at President Clinton's expense. But this transition is going to be tough because it's been 25 years since… — David Letterman Copy Share
I'm worried about John Kerry, he's so confident now that he's already planning his White House sex scandal. — David Letterman Copy Share
I vote Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to… — David Letterman Copy Share
Do I think there is a heaven? Uh, yeah I do. Like a really big gymnasium. How do I see myself there? With really… — David Letterman Copy Share
Well, we're just a couple of weeks from new President Barack Obama being sworn in. And he's been very busy naming a lot of… — David Letterman Copy Share
Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving. — David Letterman Copy Share
Prince William and Kate Middleton are in New York City. We have got to do something about immigration. — David Letterman Copy Share
