Life starts out with everyone clapping when you take a poo and goes downhill from there. — Sloane Crosley Copy Share Image
“People are less quick to applaud you as you grow older. Life starts out with everyone clapping when you take a poo and goes downhill from there.” — Sloane Crosley Copy Share Image
“Names I am most commonly called by telemarketers: Simone, Slain, Siobhan, Flo, Stacey, Susan, Slater, Leanne, and Slow (Yes, my parents named me "Slow".… — Sloane Crosley Copy Share
“I’m not sure how the ponies happened, though I have an inkling: “Can I get you anything?” I’ll say, getting up from a dinner… — Sloane Crosley Copy Share
As most New Yorkers have done, I have given serious and generous thought to the state of my apartment should I get killed during… — Sloane Crosley Copy Share
“If I could just get my partner to see me how she used to - to fall in love with me all over again… — Sloane Crosley Copy Share
I don't really think of my essays as being about myself. I know it sounds insane, but I just don't think of them as… — Sloane Crosley Copy Share
It takes a level of creative depression to hear 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' and weep. — Sloane Crosley Copy Share
I wouldn't want to live in Berlin. It's bombed out and there's a lot of techno. — Sloane Crosley Copy Share
The reason that war is such a fascinating subject for writers is because it's a revealer. Put a bunch of people in an adrenaline-fuelled,… — Sloane Crosley Copy Share
“Shortly after this exchange my roommate suggested we start throwing water balloons at the construction workers. Not really at them because, I know, I… — Sloane Crosley Copy Share
When it seems impossible that a deep connection with another person could just go away instead of changing form. It seems impossible that you… — Sloane Crosley Copy Share
Because I am a horrible flincher, contact lenses are not an option. I'm always envious of contact-wearers. There are endless reasons to take off… — Sloane Crosley Copy Share
“How can we not still be rooting for the younger versions of ourselves as if they actually exist, playing catch-up in time? Who wouldn’t… — Sloane Crosley Copy Share
There is no such thing as a crazy dog person in New York. Are there people who are completely insane about their dogs? Hordes.… — Sloane Crosley Copy Share
As most doctors will tell you, cleansing is ridiculous. You know what's been around longer than that state-of-the-art juicer? Your kidneys. And your liver.… — Sloane Crosley Copy Share
