“A blanket could be used as a tablecloth, and a brick left as a tip. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to keep warm, and a blanket could be used to build a house.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to dispel the very same lies that a blanket could be used to cover up. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to trap my love in, before it dissipates out into the world. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to help my career. Things have gone cold in this economic depression, so anything to help warm… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to save your marriage. But to be honest, I’d recommend saving your marriage in a Tupperware container.… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to say hello to all the goodbyes I’ll never see again. Keep it wrapped tight, because every… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to sell your winningest product to your loserest customer. Oh, loserest is a word. I know, because… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to aid a sinner’s nightly prayer. I’m not shaking because I’m cold—I’m trembling with trepidation over the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to travel to exotic places. Just close your eyes and see for yourself. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to keep people warm. But take it from me: you want to freeze those dead bodies as… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used as a sail for my self-esteem when I’m floating upstream on the turbulent river of my subconscious.… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to keep me from exploding. My patience is wearing thin, and my clothes are also wearing thin,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to trick a bull into charging at you. After you trick the bull, trick a bear next,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used like so many poor people get used and then thrown away like a sack of baloney that’s… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to cure the common cold. I mean, come on it’s just common sense. A blanket is warm,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to put the war in warm. Just paint the blanket like an American flag, and then try… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to alert your guest when he’s overstayed his welcome. But what’s even more effective would be a… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick and a blanket can be used as reasons to go on searching, when you’ve found all the obvious applications for… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to find the Brick of Truth. Many lies will be layered on the Brick of Truth to… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to keep me single. Not that I need any help from anybody or anything to stay single.… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used as a tarp over one of those tiny circular inflatable pools for children. Well, you might call… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used in surgery. But personally, I’d rather use a surgeon. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to stop a war, particularly if that war is a Cold War. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used as wrapping paper, to give the gift of a cat. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to cover up my modesty. And used to cover up my nakedness. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to what the hell your way out of your neighbor’s bedroom.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to show love, by providing warmth, comfort, and an itchiness of desire that cannot be satisfied by… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to warm the hearts of all the nonbelievers. We are all nonbelievers, because nobody believes in everything. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used as an example for how you should make important decisions. Don’t give me a yes or a… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to help acclimate your body for your after death experience. Hell is hot, so you’d better warm… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
