I've done your dog. It's got nine eyes down the side, I made his head all square, 15 legs. What do you… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
If you're trying to get a bit of attention, you can smash up your hotel room or spend all your time going… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
I am encyclopaedic on World War II. My dad took me to D-Day beaches when I was a kid. I was there… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
Cos people think I'm on drugs and I'm not. I'm really quite... Just a bit of coffee. When I take drugs I… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
There's not much makeup in the army, is there? No. They only have that nighttime look, and that's a bit slapdash, isn't… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
I remember when I was being told about Watergate, and I thought, "Oh, America is not what I think America is." But… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
Horseshoes are lucky. Horses have four bits of lucky nailed to their feet. They should be the luckiest animals in the world.… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
The Death Star is just full of British actors opening doors and going,Oh... I... oh... What is it Lieutenant Sebastian? It's just… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
Cause if you're a transvestite, you're actually a male tomboy, that's where the sexuality is. Yeah, it's not drag queen, no; gay… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
When I first came out, I thought, I want to walk like a real woman, I don't want to do mincing steps. And there… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share
“You know, I don't believe that religions are religions. No, I believe they are philosophies with some good ideas and some fuckin' weird ones.” — Eddie Izzard Copy Share
I don't believe in God. I believe gods and devils are within us. It's our own battle. Our life's battle is to appeal to… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share
“If you are an LGBT+ person and you come out, you have to go through your knight’s quest to create ground for yourself, to… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share
I try to just talk about human stories and what I think about religion or teapots or whatever. — Eddie Izzard Copy Share
This is your captain speaking. Welcome aboard flight...one, from...here to there. We'll be cruising at a height of ten feet, going up to twelve… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share
You have the American dream! The dream is to be born in a gutter and grow up, and then get all the money in… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share
Because we all know one of the main factors of war is the element of surprise. And what could be more surprising than the… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share
We have two hundred languages in Europe. Two hundred languages! Count them! I know you won't! — Eddie Izzard Copy Share
Cause if you're a transvestite, you're actually a male tomboy, that's where the sexuality is. Yeah, it's not drag queen, no; gay men have… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share
