At the G-20 summit, the White House accidentally listed a phone-sex line for journalists seeking an on-record briefing call for Secretary of… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Bush and Bill Clinton both agree that cloning is morally wrong. Clinton said that he thinks humans should be made the… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Hillary Clinton said she hopes America is ready for a woman in the Oval Office. That was the great thing about her… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Forty million Americans smoked marijuana; the only ones who didn’t like it were Judge Ginsberg, Clarence Thomas and Bill Clinton. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Heating bills this winter are the highest they've been in five years, but President Bush has a plan to combat rising bills.… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Obama said he is going to use the Gulf disaster to push a new energy bill through Congress. How about using… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Two Americans have been awarded the Nobel Prize for Economics. They are the first to figure out all the charges on their… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
John Kerry was the big winner in Iowa. Ted Kennedy introduced Kerry as the 'comeback kid.' That used to be Bill Clinton's… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Former Vice President Al Gore starring in a new documentary about global warming. I believe it's called [Leno snores]. ... The film… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The New York Times is reporting that back in the '60s, presidential candidate Howard Dean used a letter from a doctor about… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The White House approved an exemption in Obamacare coverage for Congress and members of their staff. Members complained that the Affordable Care… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
After saying the jobs bill is paid for, President Obama now says that it will be paid for by raising taxes over… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
There is a new book out about Hillary Clinton that claims Bill is still having affairs but Hillary continues to look the… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
John Kerry is recovering nicely after having prostate surgery. But the doctors did tell him it would be several months before he… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
As you may have heard, former President Bill Clinton says he's coming here to California to help Governor Gray Davis in his… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
While visiting Kenya, former President Clinton was offered 40 goats and 20 cows for his daughter, Chelsea, by a love struck government… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
A new poll shows that Americans now believe that Bill Clinton is more honest than President Bush. At least when Clinton screwed… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Gray Davis got some good news this week: the Clintons are out here in California campaigning for him. Actually, Hillary is campaigning… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Obama signed a bill preventing members of Congress from profiting from insider trading. Didn't you think that was already illegal? — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Bill Maher and I are on against each other, and we're friends. He can do my show any time he wants, and… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
A hiker who was lost in a blizzard said he stayed alive by digging a snow tunnel and burning dollar bills for… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
It is day two of the Democratic convention, and apparently they had a huge lighting problem in the convention hall today. They… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Now, today is the day we honor, of course, the Presidents, ranging from George Washington, who couldn't tell a lie, to George… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The healthcare reform bill now includes a tanning booth tax of 10 percent. You know what this means? This whole thing could… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Clinton vetoed the repeal of the marriage tax. I guess Bill figures if he's married, then we all have to suffer. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
They said these North Korean missiles had enough range to hit Seattle, but residents in Seattle were not worried. Today Bill Gates… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Senate voted 97-0 for an anti-spam bill to stop those annoying things you get on your computer. The senators made it… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Democratic Leadership Council has named Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton to design a plan to help define an agenda to the Democratic… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The IRS says it's been getting death threats since the health care bill passed because the IRS is going to be the… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
AT&T is now offering a new service that allows you to pay your bills through your TV screen by using your remote… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Bill Clinton is the only ex-president who hasn't planned his own funeral. But, in his defense, in the past he has said… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends… — Jay Leno Copy Share
There is a nationwide shortage of drugs for Attention Deficit Disorder. The FDA says they're not sure how it happened. I guess somebody wasn't… — Jay Leno Copy Share
“Leno said the rainy weather in California "couldn't have come at a worse possible time. Today was the day NBC was supposed to burn… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Donald Trump said he will not decide about a possible run for the presidency until after the current season of Celebrity Apprentice wraps up.… — Jay Leno Copy Share
American forces in Iraq found $650 million in American cash sealed in a hidden cottage. See, this is why President Bush wants to invade… — Jay Leno Copy Share
I wanted to have a career in sports when I was young, but I had to give up the idea. I'm only six feet… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Texas Gov. Rick Perry referred to the Mexican city of Juarez as the most dangerous city in America. In his defense, he probably just… — Jay Leno Copy Share
You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out. — Jay Leno Copy Share
The Mayans have predicted the world is supposed to end on December 21. If the world doesn't end on December 21, you can bet… — Jay Leno Copy Share
The Globe reports that North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il raises money by selling fake Viagra pills. What it is about this guy? None of… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Here is your government at work. A congressman from Colorado said he wants to draft a rule that would make it unethical to have… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Jack Abramoff is going to testify against some of the other weasels in Congress. A lobbyist testifying against congressmen? How many Bibles are going… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Tomorrow, America's most famous hockey mom, Sarah Palin, will drop the ceremonial first puck at the Philadelphia Flyers game. Right afterwards, she'll get out… — Jay Leno Copy Share
![“Former Vice President Al Gore starring in a new documentary about global warming. I believe it's called [Leno snores]. ... The film actually features Al Gore and explores his journey on how he first got interested in temperature change. It started back when he was vice president. He noticed how…” quote by Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a25/jay-leno-210_al-gore_former-vice-president-al-gore-starring-i_558100.png)
