The mass media causes sexual misdirection: It prompts us to need something deeper than what we want. This is why Woody Allen… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
Americans have become conditioned to believe the world is a gray place without absolutes; this is because we’re simultaneously cowardly and arrogant.… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
We assume that all statements must be mild inversions of the truth, because it's too weird to imagine people who aren't casually… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
Punk was perfect for lazy people, because anyone could do it--you didn't even need to know how to play your instrument, assuming… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
Americans have become conditioned to believe the world is a gray place without absolutes; this is because we're simultaneously both cowardly and… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
We argued about how hard it would be to ride a bear, assuming said bear was muzzled. — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
Sometimes I wonder what will be the air conditioning of my dying days. What thing will they add that will make it… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
The only people who think the Internet is a calamity are people whose lives have been hurt by it; the only people who insist… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share
“I suppose we'll never know what really happened in that room, though he did tell police, "I did it because I'm a dirty dog."… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share
Do you know people who insist they like 'all kinds of music'? That actually means they like no kinds of music. — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share
Let's say Twitter existed during the Civil War. We would have a better understanding of people in the Confederacy who were against slavery, people… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share
All my friends are rock critics, so we talk about rock criticism a lot. Because of that, in order to be part of the… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share
If rain is God crying, I think God is drunk and his girlfriend just slept with Zeus. — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share
But no matter how many times we re-rank the presidents, in another 200 years, the top presidents will still be Washington and Lincoln and… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share
Different critics go to different lengths to disagree with that sentiment, but ultimately, they're the person experiencing this art, and whatever judgment or taste… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share
First, you must love yourself. And if you do that convincingly enough, others will love you too much. — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share
Anyone who claims to be good at lying is obviously bad at lying. Thus - as a writer myself - I cannot comment on… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share
“I care about strangers when they're abstractions but feel almost nothing when they are literally in front of me. They seem like unnamed characters… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share
“Toby Keith writes songs like 1993's "Should've Been a Cowboy," and what's compelling is that you can't deconstruct its message. "Should've Been a Cowboy"… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share
Some say that time is like water that flows around us (like a stone in the river) and some say we flow with time… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share
[On political correctness:] Any intended message mattered less than the received message, and every received message could be interpreted in whatever way the receiver… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share
In baseball and sex, cliches are usually true: pitching beats hitting, and people always want to be loved by anyone who doesn't seem to… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share
