“His ears were assaulted by a roar like a lion getting raped by an elephant.” — Robert Bevan Copy Share Image
“What’s so special about being a human? I’ve had farts that have lingered longer than a human lifespan.” — Robert Bevan Copy Share
“Circle of life, my disgusting friend. Get busy living or get the shit smashed out of you with a porno mag.” — Robert Bevan Copy Share
“Oh my heavens!" said Julian's disembodied voice. "I seem to have pulled my big meaty hamstring! However will I deliver this basket of raw… — Robert Bevan Copy Share
“I’m an eight hundred pound minotaur. Whether I trust you or not is inconsequential as long as we both know I could kill you… — Robert Bevan Copy Share
“Annie grinned at her two silent companions, then at Julian. “One of you must give me your seed.” All residual chuckles from his friends… — Robert Bevan Copy Share
“Hey, man, this is for the greater good,” said Floyd. “You want America’s children to grow up in a world full of giant masturbating… — Robert Bevan Copy Share
“How hard is that?” asked Dave. “He’s just a bird.” Cooper snorted. “About as hard as I got looking at your mom’s Pornhub videos.” — Robert Bevan Copy Share
“Your mom has run into a lot of men here,” said Cooper. “The big black ones were always her favorite.” — Robert Bevan Copy Share
“He grinned broadly to himself. He’d show Bucky who was productive. Hell, he might even put on pants today.” — Robert Bevan Copy Share
“The humans raped and/or ate the emissaries.” “Oh.” Julian frowned. “A minor detour, but we’re back on the road I thought we were on.”… — Robert Bevan Copy Share
“NES?” asked Julian, proud of himself for at least remembering what RPG meant. Tim sighed. “Nintendo Entertainment System. Jesus, didn’t you have a childhood?… — Robert Bevan Copy Share
“We’ve already got our night planned. We’re going to eat Chinese food, get high as fuck, and watch Twin Peaks.” — Robert Bevan Copy Share
“You may very well be the Everest of stupid assholes, but your friends are the rest of the Himalayas.” Cooper” — Robert Bevan Copy Share
“His ears were assaulted by a roar like a lion getting raped by an elephant.” — Robert Bevan Copy Share
