“If the other person has pushed through his or her discomfort to do the right thing and apologize, we can push through our discomfort and say, "Thanks for the apology." It's important to resist the temptation to cancel the effort… — Harriet Lerner Copy Share Image
“But here is the real point when it comes to the challenge of apologies in family relationships. If our intention is to have a better relationship, we need to be our best and most mature self, rather than reacting to… — Harriet Lerner Copy Share Image
“Letting go of anger and hate requires us to give up the hope for a different past, along with the hope of a fantasized… — Harriet Lerner Copy Share
“There’s a widespread belief that if you have solid self-esteem you don’t need outside affirmation and praise. This is patently untrue, by the way.” — Harriet Lerner Copy Share
It is an act of courage to acknowledge our own uncertainty and sit with it for a while. — Harriet Lerner Copy Share
Nothing you say can ensure that the other person will get it, or respond the way you want. You may never exceed his threshold… — Harriet Lerner Copy Share
If you exchanged wedding vows, tape them to your bathroom mirror and read them aloud to yourself every morning along with the ritual brushing… — Harriet Lerner Copy Share
Kids want nothing more than for all the important adults in their life to get along. — Harriet Lerner Copy Share
“People's sense of self worth is pivotal to their ability to look clearly at the hurt they've caused. The more solid one's sense of… — Harriet Lerner Copy Share
Being able to make a sincere apology - one that says, "Yes, I get it; I screwed up. Your feelings make sense, and I'm… — Harriet Lerner Copy Share
“Everyone freaks out. Sometimes the best we can do with fear is befriend it. Expect it and understand that fear will always reappear. Eventually… — Harriet Lerner Copy Share
The bolder and more courageous you are, the more you will learn about yourself. — Harriet Lerner Copy Share
Underground issues from one relationship or context invariably fuel our fires in another. — Harriet Lerner Copy Share
There are some things for which there is no apology, and on the question of slavery, there is no adequate apology for ripping people… — Harriet Lerner Copy Share
Don't count on the power of your love or your nagging to create something that wasn't there to begin with. — Harriet Lerner Copy Share
If we only listened with the same passion that we feel about being heard. — Harriet Lerner Copy Share
