If I was president, of course I'd want an amendment banning boy bands, but it just wouldn't be right, and I wouldn't… — Jessi Klein Copy Share Image
I find it extremely ironic that Bush says that personal opinion should not be a tool in the interpretation of the Constitution,… — Jessi Klein Copy Share Image
“Texting is like kryptonite to women’s standards. It erodes them, like gentle ocean waves slowly, over time, destroy a beautiful dune.” — Jessi Klein Copy Share Image
It's not that I think weddings - or marriages - are letdowns. It's just that I want to see my wedding as one awesome… — Jessi Klein Copy Share Image
My 20s were all about feeling desperate. Desperate to find a new boyfriend. Desperate to get the perfect job. Desperate to get rid of… — Jessi Klein Copy Share Image
I remember the first time I heard a co-worker refer to himself as a foodie. It immediately irritated me. Was he implying that he… — Jessi Klein Copy Share Image
Basically, I was always very interested in comedy, but I was much more sort of academic. And then, after college, loaded with my art… — Jessi Klein Copy Share Image
“Not responding to the texts of a man who has wronged you is truly one of the sweetest pleasures in life..” — Jessi Klein Copy Share Image
Everyone wants to say they hate lawyers, and yet I've never met a parent who didn't want their kid to be a lawyer. — Jessi Klein Copy Share Image
“Post Ranch Inn, a hotel set on the cliffs of Northern California that has won every Most Luxurious, Most” — Jessi Klein Copy Share Image
The very first time I did standup, I went to an open mike on the Lower East Side at a place that doesn't exist… — Jessi Klein Copy Share Image
If I have one wish for my birthday, it is that 35 is the end of desperation and the beginning of acceptance. Part of… — Jessi Klein Copy Share Image
Im sick of the foodies who need every morsel that goes into their mouth to be a Picasso painting, a Giacometti sculpture, a Proust… — Jessi Klein Copy Share Image
You know how Bed Bath & Beyond sells those white noise machines that help you sleep? And they usually make ocean noises? I want… — Jessi Klein Copy Share Image
