I don't even have a clue as to where to find a pregnancy test. I'm looking at all the aisles...they don't have one that says 'oops.' — Gabriel Iglesias Copy Share Image
Walgreens, Rite Aid, CVS and Wal-Mart have all figured out the evolution of life and they grabbed all the products that are necessary for a life. And they stuck them in one aisle and they put them in order according… — Gabriel Iglesias Copy Share Image
[Making people laugh] was a secret dream I kept and I didn't tell anybody about it until I was about 18. — Gabriel Iglesias Copy Share
Now people are coming up to meet me at my shows and they're doing my bits! One guy earlier was at 7-11 and he… — Gabriel Iglesias Copy Share
I'm a comedian who happens to be Latino. What's the difference? The difference is, my special will air on Comedy Central, not Telemundo. — Gabriel Iglesias Copy Share
My girlfriend knows that if I'm acting weird at home to go to one of my shows to see what's on my mind. — Gabriel Iglesias Copy Share
I'm not selling out, denying who I am or where I've come from, not at all. I acknowledge that. — Gabriel Iglesias Copy Share
I don't wanna just be remembered for the funniest guy in my neighborhood. — Gabriel Iglesias Copy Share
Just saw the movie The Town. It was bad ass! I never rate movies publicly but I really liked it. Now I'm going bowling — Gabriel Iglesias Copy Share
My favorite people to have fun with are police officers 'cause they're so serious, you know. — Gabriel Iglesias Copy Share
Why buy a bootleg shitty copy of my special when you can get it on AMAZON for only $2.99. Swap meet cant do that!! — Gabriel Iglesias Copy Share
Early on when I started talking about my weight, it was self-deprecating; everything was a joke. — Gabriel Iglesias Copy Share
I still come out to music that's in Spanish. There's no denying who I am, but I've just made it to where my performance… — Gabriel Iglesias Copy Share
I'm a big guy, but I'm really simple with the food. I'll hit the In-N-Out or just the regular buffets. — Gabriel Iglesias Copy Share
