Beware of men on airplanes. The minute a man reaches thirty thousand feet, he immediately becomes consumed by distasteful sexual fantasies which involve doing uncomfortable things in those tiny toilets. — Cynthia Heimel Copy Share Image
Beware of men on airplanes. The minute a man reaches thirty thousand feet, he immediately becomes consumed by distasteful sexual fantasies which involve doing uncomfortable things in those tiny toilets. These men should not be encouraged, their fantasies are sadly… — Cynthia Heimel Copy Share Image
Swingers are all from the suburbs and consequently brain-addled by car pools, shopping malls, and welcome wagons. — Cynthia Heimel Copy Share
Throughout their lives, women try to pummel their bodies into some phantom ideal shape that exists only with a lot of airbrushing. ... I… — Cynthia Heimel Copy Share
Here is Heimel's Law: Anything you fantasize about won't come true. So just cut it out. — Cynthia Heimel Copy Share
We have no faith in ourselves. I have never met a woman who, deep down in her core, really believes she has great legs.… — Cynthia Heimel Copy Share
The buying of a self-help book is the most desperate of all human acts. It means you've lost your mind completely: You've entrusted your… — Cynthia Heimel Copy Share
“Prune these alleged friends ruthlessly from your life. You need all the positive reinforcement you can get. You need friends who think you're fabulous,… — Cynthia Heimel Copy Share
There is one thing that humans strive for with every cell, every gene, every nerve fiber of our beings. ... More than Mallomars, more… — Cynthia Heimel Copy Share
[On peanut M&Ms:] It is the eggness of them. A shell, chocolate placenta, proteiny peanut baby. Life shape, birth shape, cell shape, protoplasmic-ooze shape.… — Cynthia Heimel Copy Share
Men, being conditioned badly, are always feeling nooses closing around their necks, even dumpy boors no girl would take on a bet. — Cynthia Heimel Copy Share
When in doubt, make a fool of yourself. There is a microscopically thin line between being brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic… — Cynthia Heimel Copy Share
In Manhattan, marriage is a trend. Couples kiss over their arugula and radicchio salads. They fondle each other's genitals while devouring their pasta puttanesca.… — Cynthia Heimel Copy Share
The moment you decide that you're a grownup now, and therefore must put away foolish things like staying out all night or cruising down… — Cynthia Heimel Copy Share
I remember the day we were hanging around the band's commune and Roger came in with the press kit for a rock band (Moby… — Cynthia Heimel Copy Share
Reading is an escape, an education, a delving into the brain of another human being on such an intimate level that every nuance of… — Cynthia Heimel Copy Share
