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The thing is,” I said, “that to be what I am, I need to…

“The thing is,” I said, “that to be what I am, I need to feel the way I do about you. No matter how you feel about me.” “I feel good about you,” she said. “I do love you, you know.” “Yeah. But even if you didn’t. The way I feel about you is my problem, not yours. And it’s absolute. It can’t be…” quote by Robert B. Parker
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““The thing is,” I said, “that to be what I am, I need to feel the way I do about you. No matter how you feel about me.” “I feel good about you,” she said. “I do love you, you know.” “Yeah. But even if you didn’t. The way I feel about you is my problem, not yours. And it’s absolute. It can’t be compromised. It could exist without you.” “Dead or alive,” Susan said. In her face was that quality of serious amusement that so often invested her.””

Robert B. Parker

About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

A speaker asserts that personal feelings are self‑owned and cannot be altered by another’s affection, emphasizing emotional autonomy.

In simple terms: Feelings are personal and cannot be changed by others.

Key Takeaway

Own your emotions, don’t demand others to fix them.

Themes

autonomy relationships emotional honesty boundaries

Mood

reflective serious introspective

Type

philosophical dialogue

When to use this quote

  • dating
  • conflict resolution
  • personal growth
  • relationship counseling

Key Concepts

self‑ownership subjectivity emotional integrity

Questions to Reflect On

  • How do you respect others’ feelings while maintaining your own?
  • Can absolute emotional autonomy exist in close relationships?
A Different Perspective

Emotions can be influenced by external factors despite claims of absolute independence.

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